Day 3 and I'm one happy tree.

A fallen tree. In a forest. Where nobody heard me fall...

and you know what? This is kinda freaking awesome.

Let me tell you why.

Yesterday. I entered a supernatural writing contest.

This was very difficult for me because I come from a very religious, like on a cult level, family.

I was never this way, but my family...was. They aren't this way anymore, but that is a whole different story.

Anyway. To talk about things such as the Occult, ghosts, telekinesis, or even just talking about a freaky dream I had was considered very very wrong and I felt shamed for even having these things on my mind.

And it wasn't just my religious family that thought this way. I realized it was many many others. You just bring up some crazy ass shit, like, I saw this video and they say the earth is flat and I watched it and you know what they have some good points. Just go up to a friend or a colleague and say that shit. You know what they are are going to do? They are going to smile and back away slowly. People in general society are not open, people are not free. This is why we have our our obsession with crazy Flat Earth YouTubers and the Time Travel YouTubers and all the other Imaginative Thinkers of the world. We crave an outlet. To see some guy up there pouring his heart out to the entire world about his belief no matter how cockamamie feels freeing. We can only imagine being so free. And yah we watch it. We may not tell people what we are watching but the Flat Earth videos are trending to the top of YouTube and they aren't getting there by watching themselves.

So back to my point. It's day 3. I don't know if you remember the end of your third day here but if you do you may recall it was a very sad and lonely place. You had all these aspirations of being awesome to be like those people who are making hundreds of dollars on their #introduceyourself videos. Even 10 dollars would be inspiring. But if you are like me and your post made like 22 cents you are going to think to yourself...what the heck is wrong with me?

It was around this time I started feeling desperate. I just wanted a little bit validation. I figured out that I could "buy" votes, and I did. I bought enough votes to make my day 2 post about 77 cents. And that even though it wasn't "real" it still felt awesome, until it didn't. I did a search on the ethics of buying votes and I realized its kinda sketchy and whales will actually not upvote your post if they see you bought votes.

So OOOPS. Forgive me for that one. I get it now. No more vote buying.

I still continued trying to figure out a strategy. I am a tree lying in a forest just staring up at the stars thinking to myself I fell down here pretty decently. I tried to engaging and witty. I tried to be heard, but nobody heard me. My only love came from the love that I paid for. Then I noticed there was a writing contest put out by @jerrybanfield . We had to write 1000 words about a real-life supernatural experience. This to me was terrifying. I love my supernatural experiences and yet I have been shamed for trying to talk about them. Why couldn't you be asking me to write just about anything else Jerry?

Well my desire to be noticed outweighed my fear of being shamed. I thought it's not like anybody even knows who I am in this place. And I then started writing. It was so cathartic. Just openly sharing and I am by no means a professional writer, but I realized something, writing feels great. Sharing feels great. Having the potential of finally being noticed feels hopeful.

So I posted, and I waiting. 2 views, 2 upvotes, and 2 comments. Then that was it. Just stopped! I kept checking and checking. I tried to get exposure by thoughtful commenting on cat posts. Nobody came to see what I wrote. I went to bed and woke up in the middle of the night, at 4 am I booted up my laptop. Any more attention? Nope. Nobody even has read what I wrote, so at least its still up in the air about whether I suck or not.

This is when the epiphany hit. I can dance in my tutu out in the front yard like nobody is watching because nobody IS watching. I feel like I can just sit here and write openly and nobody will judge me because they just aren't here. But I'm still out in the front yard at 4 am so you just never know if there will be an accidental straggler.

Staring up at the stars in the middle of a forest unbothered has its advantages. Liberate Yourself.