Florida Man (and woman this time) strike again! Sex crash!

The "Florida Man" news is more interesting than the "real" news is these days. With politics so screwed up and the media shifting to the new flavor of the week on a regular basis (remember Ukraine? - or is everything going to be about gay month and Juneteenth? - thank God monkeypox didn't stick.)

I find Florida Man news to be wildly entertaining because there is something about Florida that just makes people do really crazy things. This next one isn't so crazy because I'm sure a lot of people have done it - but without crashing.

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Florida Man has become so popular that major outlets will pick up the stories and mix it in with their usual array of politics and disease and war fear porn, presumably to lighten the mood a bit.

Well this guy was getting a blowjob or as they call it in the article an "intimate service" from the passenger and I'm guessing she was doing too good of a job because the driver, a man, careened over the double yellow and hit a Fed Ex truck head on.

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I've never been in a Fed Ex truck but from the vast majority of the ones I have seen they look like they could quickly be retrofitted into military vehicles. This is quite possibly the worst vehicle to crash into because you are not going to come out on top. They are duelies too (4 back tires) and are very heavy. I suppose it is a good thing that Florida Man crashed into this and not some family in a Toyota Camry or something like that because then the story wouldn't be so funny as it is tragic.

The man has not been named and I would imagine that he is very happy about that. One thing he probably isn't very happy about was that the only major injury to anyone in the crash was to the driver, who suffered extreme injuries to his "private area" as they describe it in the news.

What an awful turn of events for him. One minute he's on cloud nine the next he nearly has his dick chomped off and his car is destroyed and he knows that he is going to be in a lot of trouble to boot. Hilariously, when police and emergency services turned up at the scene, the driver still had his pants around his ankles. Florida is fucking wild!

_{Sir, sir, can you pull your pants up please?}