Wow, Florida is going to have their work cut out for them to try to one - up this story out of Pennsylvania but I have a lot of faith in my rather crazy Floridian compatriots so just give them some time, they'll get there. Florida doesn't like to be outdone by Yankees so I am sure someone is already getting on a ton of meth and thinking of a way to out-crazy this story.
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I have kind of fond memories of riding the bus to school as a kid. For me, it was a time for socialization and I made a lot of friends and silly memories because of it. I never really encountered anything this crazy on a bus, that's for sure.
The story starts out with one of the most famed cars for having potential assholes as the drivers: A BMW. No offense if you own a Beemer or like them, that is just how the internet meme fame goes. So Tony Saunders of Pennsylvania got his hands on a school bus, and the keys, in the wee hours of the morning after crashing and totaling his BMW. Why he decided to not just stay with the car like a normal human would is unclear from the news reports but I would be willing to bet based on the time of day involved that there was drugs and/or alcohol involved.
I don't know how much you know about school buses, but they aren't known for their incredible speed so if you do ever steal one and you have some idea that you are going to outrun the cops, just go ahead and abandon that idea, no matter how much meth is in your system, it simply weighs too much to go very fast and most of them have speed caps or governors on them that limit how fast it is even capable of moving.
So in the rather slow pursuit, at which point the police already knew who they were dealing with, the driver hit a lot of things in the road - although thankfully not other drivers - and one of these points of contact nearly resulted in flipping the bus over in the road.
In these sorts of potentially deadly situations police are mostly encouraged to keep their distance and just keep an eye on where the vehicle is going rather than escalate the situation. It's not like the guy is going to get away in something as clearly noticeable as a school bus anyway.
So Tony eventually grew tired of the chase and when he did exit the vehicle he ran, like most idiots do when pursued by police even though outside of films, this rarely results in the perpetrator actually getting away. Tony wasn't done with his master plan though, and while he was running he somehow managed to take off all of his clothes and I guess this was so that the APB describing his clothing wouldn't help anyone. I guess he failed to realize that "a naked man" is much more noticeable that someone wearing a certain color shirt.
Tony didn't get very far after this and even though it is silly to refer to him as a "suspect" at this point the article that I read about the topic does exactly that.
I can see in the writeup that the author is trying to be serious but I am sure they were chuckling the entire time they were writing it.
The crazy doesn't end there though because Tony didn't resist and admitted to everything including something that the police didn't actually know at the time. Inside the stolen school bus was a dead deer that Tony had found and that was his motivation for "borrowing" the bus in the first place. He had intended to take the deer home to use as fertilizer in his garden. Does that sort of thing even work? Is that legal? I mean, i guess if you want to use a dead deer in your garden that should be your business but borrowing a school bus is a strange way of accomplishing this feat. I guess it wouldn't fit in the back seat of the BMW, especially after he crashed it.
I would have included pictures of Tony in this but I couldn't find any images of him online. I think that this is probably a good thing because he is already going to have to work pretty hard to repair his reputation as it is.
So Florida it is time to get to work. This one is going to be tough to beat but I have faith in your population! Let's get moving! Maybe steal a church bus. That would be a good place to start.
