Millionaire who smashes iPads to discipline children preparing to patronise poor people over Christmas

Kirstie Allsopp is in the news again, this time to share her priceless parenting techniques.

Is your child spending too much time in front of screens and not doing the dishes when asked? Simple! Smash their iPads up.

Sound advice if you’re a multi millionaire, however, I think someone who is still paying £3.66 a week to fucking Bright House because they wanted to make Christmas 2013 special by buying that tablet might take exception.

Never fear though, if you, like me, find throwing 600 quid away a little excessive, you could try simply bollocking your child, and, or, taking their electronic baby sitter off them for a temporary period until they behave again.

I can’t say it shocks me to be honest, the twat probably didn’t mention that she only smashed the ones in the games room.

I’m not getting into the whole is she a bad parent debate because frankly I can’t be fucked.

I just think it’s ludicrous that a woman who spends most of her time patronising poor people by promising to “fill their house for free”, has absolutely no problem admitting to smashing up devices that most parents could only dream of buying for their kids.

Fuck off Kirstie, you glorified out of touch estate agent. I’ve watched your shows and they’re full of lies.

Granted, I can have nice new homemade cushions, but what you don’t mention is that I’d have to rip my fucking curtains down to make them.