If a man could forget anything in life, it must not be the first love. Even the old men of eighties and hundreds years old use to talk about their experiences they have had about the first love story.
That was what happened to Tunde , a graduate of economics. I wonder what came to his mind on that faithful bright day when he was narrating about his first love to his dearly three friends who came to visit him at the recreation centre in Ibadan, where he was working for his living, a very big city in the sub-region of West Africa.
The story began when one of his friends “Bolu” who came with a girl friend introduced the lady to Tunde.
Bolu: said, “meet my first love,”
Tunde: asked, “is she your first lover”?
Bolu: answered, “yes! She is the first girl in my life. I have never tasted any woman in my life, since l was born to this earth.
Tunde: replied , “What about those girls in your class? your girl friend not among them”?
Bolu: answered again, believe me! “All those girls were just classmates, l ‘ve nothing to do with them, we were just classmate and anything that brought us together ended in the class and nothing more. You need to know that, l was a serious student at that time, and there is the need for me to concentrate on my studies otherwise my performances in the class is at stake.
Tunde: paused for some minutes ; well! “ men and their first love. When it started, it’s like a car , it runs smoothly, and when it get to a place then it stopped . That is the final and the end of the love.”
Thomas: interrupted, “in an ideal world, men marry the one who you feel the deepest connection to. For me, my first love relationship ended six years ago, and still haunt me till today. Every relationship l have had, l still keep hopping that, l Will feel something remorseful similar to that of the first love , but l don't,
Tunde: admittedly and he expressed his view and said, l was talking to a male friend of mine the other day about “first love” . This guy who is in his 30s and has married for ten years with two children. Guess what! He confided to me that, he had been engaged to his “first love” when he was at the age of 20 and that he had broken hearted when that relationship ended. He said, he had never gotten over it.
He claimed to still have a “flame” for her after all this time and that he often wondered what his life would have been like if that relationship worked out. Furthermore , he claimed , he loved his wife, but that relationship he had with his “ first love” was the only one that he felt deeply
Sister Grace: admitted Tunde’s story; she was sitting beside Tunde and his visitors and suddenly interrupted their conversation. She said, it bothers me greatly, l have spent a lot of time trying to control the jealousy and insecurity l felt towards my boy friend “ first love”, because l know how much and badly l have broken his heart
For me as a writer, truly speaking as a guy, l have had several relationships, but the most recently ex-girl friend is the first woman l ‘ve ever really given my heart to. And it nearly kills me when the relationship was put to an end by the ex. because l caught her red handed when she cheated on me.
Another thing was that , many guys have sugar coated mouth. They think differently about marriage. They thought it is like bread and butter, so sweet but never think about the other side of the marriage position. When l got married ,l ‘will’ love my wife and my children with all my heart and my soul. But the question now is , what happens when at last they get married. They quit, and put an end to the relationship.
Another question is, can men ever forget their “ first love”? No! , the truth is , not possible to be completely and wholly done with the ‘first love’. Simply because you have shared together your love. You have given away a piece of your heart somewhere out there.
It's all illusion regarding matters of the heart. Many, and I mean MANY people opine about the one they let get away. They live the reality of marriage with all of its highs and lows, and mostly plateaus, 'thinking' things would've been better, 'if only'.
Ha, I say snap out of la-la land and accept that the only love is the one you are with. Love is an action word. And, the one you do for, and the one who cares for your needs is the one you really love.
Holding on to the illusion of the elusive relationship of old is the enemy's way of keeping you from honoring, respecting, and cherishing the love you have.
Funny thing is, when you hear elders grieve for the loss of a spouse they were married to for decades, they never tire of talking about what they miss so much about the one God took away, their spouse.
One last thing, anyone who catches a cheater red-handed should graciously walk away and sing the loudest praises to the Most High for sparing them years of sorrow, and potential risks for fatal diseases.
Peace.
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Thanks, the woman you keep to in marriage is the one that God has giving to you, but not the first love.
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On behalf of those who wisely married their first love, I believe the majority, if not all, know they made an exceptional choice.
I think many miss God's best; but, must make peace with, and honor God by the covenant choice they made in marriage.
God alludes to the 'wife of your youth' (Proverbs 5). She is a treasure from Him. Many underestimate the powerful bond of the first love God gifts them with; and, on letting this person get away, consequentially find themselves living life making the best existence with the 'spouse' of their choosing.
Peace.
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May God bless you, l see first love as a trial of man to make an experimental relationship. It is not actual real love, because few people stayed with the relationship while majority cant cope and put an end to it. Samson in the bible tasted his first love but ended to nothingness.
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Interesting perspective @adekanbi. Thanks for sharing! Peace.
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