Why i don&#x27;t like ways modern relationships are taken plus 8 sbd contest give away

ajibade (49) · 7 years ago

Kneeling on one knee as fundamental to the standard proposition isn't cherished ever; it has all the earmarks of being a to a great extent current innovation, yet it's not clear how it began. The engagements we know most about in history are the ones amongst nobles and the well off, and those were regularly in the way of business courses of action, with none of this "stooping before your cherished" stuff. Truth be told, canvases of honorable pre-wedding assurances in history perpetually portray the two gatherings as standing or situated; no stooping appears by any means.

One conceivable origin of the modern kneeling ideal is in the Middle Ages tradition, in which a man of good birth basically committed himself (finish with lyrics, tributes, deeds of respect, and general vassalage) to an aristocrat he saw as prevalent. The whole rule of this famous state of mind was that the man was a sort of worker to the lady, whom he romanticized past all reality; and he played out his subjugation by bowing, profoundly and allegorically. (Regardless of whether they at any point really got together involves authentic level headed discussion. Most likely not, in a great deal of cases; huge numbers of the ladies being referred to were hitched.) Kneeling spoke to primitive surrender and profound respect. History specialists have really had contentions about whether certain medieval pictures indicate men bowing to their elegant cherishes, or to their male bosses.

it's additionally been brought up that bowing between men was a major indication of status. Knights stooped before their masters to get respects, and surrendering armed forces bowed before their champions. Stooping to the lady you will wed might be a piece of a similar thing: a demand for her support and a physical showing of unwaveringness and surrender. It appears to have first appeared in the nineteenth century, yet with reference to why, your guess is as good as mine.

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7 votes

levitated-mind (50) · 7 years ago (edited)

I oppose the ancient way of relationship. First, its archaic and not very much practicable in this world. Who the hell waits for his/her parents to bring a wife/husband home???
In the olden days, youths leave it all for their parents to make life decisions for them. Be it course of study or profession, religion, mode of dressing, marriage and also where to live or settle down. But in this generation we(youths) have been given the privilege and independence to make decisions on our own and i feel who and when to marry shouldn't be excluded.
Truth be told, there are many loopholes in today's relationship but going backward is not the answer.
In today's relationship, You don't always have to go n your knees to propose to your woman. You can just get her pregnant and leave the decision to her if she's gonna get married to you or not.
With the innovations and civilization steadily developing in Africa, I believe our marriage or relationship life shouldn't be lagging behind.
In conclusion, The modern mode of relationship fits today's Africa. We can't continue living like our fore-fathers.

Because, oyinbo say "the old ways we leave behind is a vomit that snake cannot swallow"
Thaink you

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jblsignature (39) · 7 years ago

u know I heart you, so i just upvoted your comment.

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adoore-eu (58) · 7 years ago (edited)

Well, we are all entitled to our opinion. I prefer our modern marriage. In those days, people marry without any blood group check and so bring birth to kids with sickle cell. Those days, women had little or no right to education. Their education was in the kitchen. Now, we have career women all over. Then any woman can be sent packing unjustly , she has no chance of fair hearing, now, a woman can sue her husband and the court will decide who takes costody of the kids and decide on terms of property sharing. That time , all the woman had was for her husband, now a woman has right to her money and property. Quite alright some women in our time are naughty but someone brought up well by those old mothers will do well in her husbands house. My fear is for mothers and wives of next generation. This generation women are still doing well.
As for relationship, my problem would have been sex before marriage we see in our world today. But without judging them and any disregard for God who hates fornication, i think the points i made here should matter as much as marrying as a virgin
Nice concept @onos. Kudos.

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8 votes

ikechi (43) · 7 years ago

These days, that property sharing ish is misused and abused. Lazy and sinister spouses use it to rape their partners. Eg Emmanuel Ebuoue

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rebeccafl (57) · 7 years ago

Hahahahahahaha
Mr @onos, hummm
Well, from my own perspective you've never been in love.
Yes, you've not found a true real love
I stand to be corrected tho.
you are yet to find love
I prefer the modern relationship tho, it's fun, sweet and interesting.
Not so old boring traditional relationship, where it's so dry and all.
.
.
.
Bringing breakfast to your wife in bed doesnt mean a thing, i dont know why some guys take it up and sees it as a big deal.
It not like you do it everyday, maybe just once in a while. Show her love, give her a treat just out of the blues. That making her feel loved, dont see it as an obligation.

Love conquers all tho, and that your view.
Well this is my own view, try to fall in real love. thanks

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6 votes

addempsea (54) · 7 years ago

Abegii, there is nothing like love. Love is just an excuse people give to have sex and do other friviolous acts.

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jblsignature (39) · 7 years ago

Really

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rebeccafl (57) · 7 years ago

Oh forget that, and that is excatly where you got it all wrong.
U can only decide your motive of love, if it in to have sex or do something meaningful with yourself. Understand what love is love doesnt hide under any pretence

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jblsignature (39) · 7 years ago

Thank you for your wonderful comment. You deserve an upvote.

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intheory (47) · 7 years ago (edited)

What type of Marriage fits the Atavistic, Unfeminist African society?

I'd say a little of the two. The relationship system that's commonplace here picks out the terrible parts of the aforementioned Marriage types and combines it in a mix.

Take for example, the stereotypes that emerge as a result.

Expecting that the Man always picks up the bills.
The stereotype believe that a lady is only in it for the Money.
The stereotype believe that a guy is only in it for the sex.
The adoption of traditional roles in the traditional relationship(Woman is relegated to housework, Man is made the sole breadwinner)
Female sexuality is often unrecognised and unexplored. I.e (I've heard plenty, "All you have to do is lay on your back and make him happy" From much older women.
Much emphasis is placed on the Man being the breadwinner, the Woman may be forced to abandon her career, decrease her hustle just to boost her man's ego simply because the society deems fit.
The man suffers too, Some women totally slack off simply because they expect the Man to be the Man in all ramifications.

Both have unsuitable characteristics. Sure they've got their Pro's too but they don't appeal to me lol.

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6 votes

smyle (66) · 7 years ago

lols!
From the above analysis, i will say the ancient love scenario is best judging by some of the factors listed by you. Every love story has it shorcomings but i prefer how things were done then to how it is done now.

These days, proposal, photoshoot and 'feferity'(lavish spending) determines who is caring or not. We are being sold 'nude' these days and makeups. Hardly will you see any beautiful lady out there these days without makeups.

Irrespective of what ladies think, i prefer the ancient love to this present one because monetary factors and 'what will people say' play important role in the heart of today's ladies.

Thanks.

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jblsignature (39) · 7 years ago

l just upvoted your comment

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ewuoso (63) · 7 years ago

Ancient love or not, i just want a faithful woman

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smyle (66) · 7 years ago

Hard to find 🏃🏃🏃🏃

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timmyeu (60) · 7 years ago

Hahhahah! Thats a hell of a modern relationship breakdown. In my own opinion, i'd prefer neither the new or the former, i just love to do my thing. My wife to be must be hardworking and diligent so there's no room for me as her man to be relenting. We can do our thing with sense anytime anywhere without minding the world. I just want to be myself and we want to be ourself. No paparazzi in proposals, just sip a Henny or Spanish wine and say the words, go naked in the bathroom and tell her i want to be her man forever. Just me, just my own way, not necessarily the way the world perceives proposal and relationship lifetstyles to be. This is me, if you like me , hit me up

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jblsignature (39) · 7 years ago

Nicely said, I just upvoted your comment.

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ikechi (43) · 7 years ago

Go naked? Abi u don't marry am?

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rejoiceavl (49) · 7 years ago

Good one here, well I will argue against, for me I like and prefare the modern type of relationship, the old type is good too but men, the world is changing and so also people in it, the old men were not lazy, they were very supportive of their family, even as their wives takes up a menial job, but these days, if a man just sees a hardworking woman, he will resign and leave everything to her, without caring to help, about relationship,modern relationship is bad compared to old cos now it's just all about the sex, we don't even know the meaning of love anymore and that's so bad, about kneeling down to propose that's rubbish, I don't even fancy it and I don't see any need for it personally. Now about serving breakfast in bed or helping in house chores, that is to appreciate ur wife or girlfriend, if you really love her I don't see why it should be a problem at least once in a while. It doesn't mean she is lazy or you should take up the job full time 😂 lol, that's just to spice up and pamper your woman dear, I think you should change that thinking immediately 😂 women arent made to be house keepers alone. Right now a relationship needs a little of old and modern way of relationship to excel. Thanks

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bookoons (64) · 7 years ago

As much as I don't understand some aspects of modern relationships like public proposals and all but there's nothing bad in my man bringing me breakfast in bed occasionally or even helping with the chores whenever he can.

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olajidekehinde (55) · 7 years ago

Weel...We all entitled to our opinion, My opinion follows the old way of love..Modern marriages now are not necesaarily based on love but mere attraction toward the oppsite sex and some others including wealth and fame..it just happend recently between Zayn & Gigi..
The old way of relationship and marriages has shown great bond of love overtime..The love we play now is just of lust and infatuation..
The Love of the good old days stays the best!

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shyna007 (37) · 7 years ago

I concur with you on the way that our folks' marriage were the best contrasted with our own. Those were the times of blamelessness and realness. Be that as it may, now what you will see is misrepresentation ridden connections.

When we were regarding our African legacy, we considered marriage to be fair, you'd hardly know about separation. Be that as it may, now, kid o kid! The invert is the situation. We have replicated the west to the degree that white weddings are presently the sacred chalices of marriage as against our customary weddings. This replicating of remote example has likewise caused an expansion in separate, which is exceptionally not African. Africans trust in the family, and building it instead of breaking.

I differ however with you on the helping of your life partner to do a few errands. I think any man who adores his significant other will do these not on the grounds that his better half is wiped out or pregnant, but rather in light of the fact that these little demonstrations of adoration flavors up relational unions.

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ehisoria (54) · 7 years ago

I won't lie i really fancy the ancient ways of marriage,i mean it's natural cool and somehow feels like the right thing to do.
But like everything it has its ups and down but i kinda think it has more downs than ups. But i completely detest most things about modern marriage. Nowadays wives don't even wanna cook anymore.
But on my part I'll blend both the ancient and the modern form to make the marriage more efficient because as much as i don't like modern marriages ancient ones still has its bad sides

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sammyswt (49) · 7 years ago

Wow this is really nice, left for me I go with the former ways... Then marriage was fun, we hardly see break ups everything was natural but now reverse is the case 'artificial beauty' is now the rain of the day, the pride of a woman is no where to be found. A married aged women now wear bum short to clubs, smoking shi shi and hard drugs is now the order of the day, married woman now use words like 'my bestie' 'just my crush' to do evil at the back of their husbands, husbands now do the works of wife all in the name of being romantic, I laugh in Japan.... Seriously our old ways is the best, the pet names the call themselves e.g in igbo nkem(my own) obim(my heart) but now we hear things like 'boo' 'bae' that has no meaning, to cut it short I strongly support the old ways of marriage thanks
@sammyswt

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opeyemi007 (34) · 7 years ago

I restrict the old method for relationship. To start with, its bygone and not especially practicable in this world. Who the damnation sits tight for his/her folks to bring a spouse/husband home???

In the long time past days, young people abandon everything for their folks to settle on life choices for them. Be it course of study or calling, religion, method of dressing, marriage and furthermore where to live or settle down. However, in this age we(youths) have been given the benefit and autonomy to settle on choices all alone and I feel who and when to wed shouldn't be rejected.

Honestly, there are numerous escape clauses in the present relationship yet moving in reverse isn't the appropriate response.

In the present relationship, You don't generally need to go n your knees to propose to your lady. You can simply get her pregnant and leave the choice to her if she's going to get hitched to you or not.

With the advancements and human progress relentlessly creating in Africa, I trust our marriage or relationship life shouldn't fall behind.

Thank you

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obaseki (44) · 7 years ago (edited)

Life is subjected to needs and wants. The expectancy of our urgents need could be partial due to favouritism if caution attention are not paid to it.

Relationships in the olden days remote culture. It spoke abroad ages of social heritage. Love existed but not lost. When my father and mother first unveil their love life to us, it felt like something I get to pay to watch in the theater room. They were naive of what sex was. Neither one of them knew what pleasure was. I m not now saying that knowledge is forbidden or to be treated as cabbage but when the first step of relationship starts with both partner phatonising the nudity of each other then the concept of love now becomes lost.

Conversely,  modern relationships depict the new generation of  openness.  Both partner share not only ideas but also their bodies.  The secrecy of the beauty ointment is already split out so why bother buy or pay for it in all honesty.  Beside the above listed point,  I never really liked the concept of neglecting sex in relationships but the motive behind it makes me prefer the olden pattern.  See,  I never knew about the sex life of my parents.  The secret behind them not unveiling this perspective makes it even more glorious.  I even sometimes past asked my friends how I was given birth to. 

    In this modern African society, the man and woman (both young)  use their sexual life to evaluate the extend to  what end the relationship would be. Can he last a hour or two or does she possessed a high level of libido?. This are unanswered questions of the modern lover. This is the reason they fall in love (which is not genuine). They see relationship as a give and take.  I spend on her,  she opens her legs wide open (modern prostitution). Evaluation of truth sinfulness. Most modern relationships aren't genuine.  They both wants to taste the extends of their pleasure.  Not love but sex in lost.  I preferred the olden pattern of love not because they were ancient and therefore connotes acknowledgements but the way tradition is portrait in their courtesy towards their dignity.

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burlarj (69) · 7 years ago (edited)

Lol, Mr onos, this your competition will be tough o.. I love this..as for me oo..

I prefer the ancient days relationship, the time of my forefathers when there is lot of respect for the husband... When the wife are submissive to the husband, not this modern day that if the husband say two words the wife will reply with three.....

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ikechi (43) · 7 years ago

I agree with you on the fact that our parents' marriage were the best compared to ours. Those were the days of innocence and realness. But now what you will see is falsehood-ridden relationships.
When we were respecting our African heritage, we saw marriage as honourable, you'd scarcely hear of divorce. But now, boy o boy! The reverse is the case. We have copied the west to the extent that white weddings are now the holy grails of marriage as against our traditional weddings. This copying of foreign pattern has also caused an increase in divorce, which is highly not African. Africans believe in the family, and building it rather than breaking.

I disagree however with you on the assisting of your spouse to do some chores. I think any man who loves his wife will do these not because his wife is sick or pregnant, but because these little acts of love spices up marriages.

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addempsea (54) · 7 years ago

Girls tend to overplay this pregnancy of a thing ,they be doing like baby when they pregnant. I mean Serena Williams won a Grand Slam while she was pregnant.

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sola3097 (55) · 7 years ago

I go with the ancient days marriage , looking at it critically ,those days people marry because of love , the bond was so strong, their was alot of respect , even when their husband is not financially stable our mothers will never disrespect them but continue to support their husband but now nobody cares about love , once your pocket is big , you will automatically get the lady even if you have a bad altitude or disrespect her , she will continue to endure , when you as the husband is not financially stable then get ready to be cheated or probably humiliated directly or indirectly ,moreover the modern day marriage have continue to witness a lot of divorce compared to ancient days marriage ,so i support the ancient day marriage

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wireless07 (57) · 7 years ago

Just like @onos proposed in his post, I think he might be right JUST to some point. But in my own sense of reason I oppose @onos view to marriage life. I think the modern ways is better because it give more value to the woman involve, extending and giving her respect that she deserve as a lady. Our father during their own time do not think like the way we do and they do not act like we do cous of the way they reason. But as development set in things changes. Most guys now look mainly for the sexual benefits and which was not in place during those days.

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3 votes

desmoniac (56) · 7 years ago

Thanks for this brilliant and interactive contest, here's my entry ;

I would like to state my points in support of the existing motion.

¶¶ The world is fast changing in technological advancement with mean, women and children being enlightened on a daily basis. This enlightenment has brought misplacement of duty/responsibility amongst the male and female gender, simply because they both contribute almost equally to this advancement.

¶¶ The ladies have abandoned their place in the kit and are now seeking white collar jobs along side their male counterparts

¶¶ FEMINISM has eaten deep into the modern laws made by the judiciary arm of government and the hearts of the modern women, which has given them power/reasons to be treated equally if not superior to their male counterparts

¶¶ Africans being in the third world countries have decided to emulate not just the technical know-how of economic development in developed countries like the United States, but have gone ahead to borrow their culture of women proposing to men even when the African culture vehemently says otherwise

*All these above listed points are clear reasons for the high level of derailment in man-to-man relationships from old to modern

However, they should not be tolerated in the African society because I see no just reason why a lady should be in bed while her husband makes breakfast to serve her, when the African moral ethics and general religion has rightfully placed the man above the woman. A woman should know her duty lies in keeping the home clean, taking care of the kids and her man, while the man's duty lies in fending financially for the well being of the entire home.

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dailypick (49) · 7 years ago

This post has been upvoted and picked by Daily Picked #7! Thank you for the cool and quality content. Keep going!

Don’t forget I’m not a robot. I explore, read, upvote and share manually :)

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desmoniac (56) · 7 years ago

Thanks for this interactive contest, Women should know that the man has been religiously and rightfully placed above them and they should also know that their duties lie in taking care of their man and the kids, while the man's duties lie in providing the financyneeds of the entire home... Misplacement of these duties leads to high rates of divorce amongst others...

Therefore it should never be tolerated in our African society of today.

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jblsignature (39) · 7 years ago

I am here to read comments.
let me sit comfortably.

😀😀😀😀😀😀

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shamzieyblitz (42) · 7 years ago

Our idea of marriage today is not quite the same as what it was a hundred years prior. The ascent of women's liberation and the sexual upset of the 1960s reclassified sex parts in marriage. Ladies entering the work drive in critical numbers changed the monetary substances of marriage. The meaning of marriage was rethought when separate turned out to be socially adequate and gay rights were built up. As ladies guaranteed basic leadership rights in their relational unions and men went up against a portion of the obligations of kid raising, present day relational unions turned out to be more populist.

The Economics of Marriage

Generally ladies were fiscally reliant on their spouses, who were the sole workers in the family. Every single monetary resource were possessed solely by the male who doled out housekeeping cash as he saw fit. In the event that lower-pay families required the extra pay from a working spouse, her pay was given over to the husband. Ladies wedded for budgetary security and to have a supplier for their kids. In present day relational unions most ladies never again wed for monetary reasons; they are better taught, seek after well-paying professions and are fiscally autonomous.

Sexual orientation Roles

In customary relational unions the division of duties was plainly assigned by sexual orientation. The spouse worked outside the home and was in charge of the family monetarily while his significant other was exclusively in charge of dealing with the home: shopping, cooking, cleaning and bringing up the youngsters. In current relational unions the couple share duties. A few wives may even gain a bigger salary than their life partners. Most present day spouses partake being taken care of by the kids, including changing diapers and additionally perhaps taking a paternity mind leave from work to remain home full time with the children.

Flexibility of Choice

Customary relational unions bolted the mates into their predefined parts with no chance to consider singular decision. Hitched ladies were relied upon to satisfy their part as homemaker and needed to smother any profession aspirations or disappointments they may have had. Current relational unions take into account singular inclinations. The companions are viewed as equivalent accomplices and the ladies have their offer of energy and control in basic leadership for the family.

Part of Sex

Customary relational unions gave a safe and socially worthy sexual outlet. At the point when premarital sex was forbidden, couples were relied upon to sit tight for their wedding night to end up physically private and to stay monogamous all through the marriage, clarifies Richard Reeve, strategy executive of the Center on Children and Families at the Brookings Institution in his article "How to Save Marriage in America." As more couples today live respectively without the custom of pre-marriage ceremony, current marriage is never again required as a foundation for allowed sex. Couples may live respectively casually or have a tendency to wed further down the road.

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confidenceugochi (44) · 7 years ago

Hi, I support the old way of marriage life because I can use my parents for example. My dad married my mom when she was a virgin, and there was nothing like come to my house and visit me, infact my dad bought alot of things for my grandma just to get her approval, there was respect,love,peace among the two couples. So with my point of view, I support the old way of marriage life, thank you. I miss my mom!!!

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mychidera-eu (49) · 7 years ago

I can feel your like for the old ways of marriage. And the dislike for the new way too.

Well you are a true African man to the core and judging from your view i want to believe you are an igbo man.

I will like to point out some points

i like the part where you don't like a man playing the woman part of the bargain (cooking, washing, cleaning or even washing) when the woman is probably going to work or just sitting at home.
the idea that you must beg (woo) a lady for weeks before you can become together and the next thing is taking her out to eateries or shopping (for what? To impress her? Let her marry)
serving your wife or girlfriend a meal while on the bed is not too bad an idea but making it a duty is bad. Come to think of it a man in most relationships are older than the ladies in age with also spends most and for what? To to able impress her and lye with her? Is she not enjoying same thing you are enjoying during the lye (sex)?

This issues are becoming worrisome that when a lady feels the man is lacking in one of those will say the man is not romantic. Excuse me why don't you be romantic too if that's your definition of being romantic.

Anyways these are my take on the matter and only for the purpose of this contest. Thank you

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steemcenturion (46) · 7 years ago

My own is that I like breakfast in bed, you will nor Conan take it away from me, the old days are gone, so also the traditions,

✒ @steemcenturion

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3 votes

oyinoza (50) · 7 years ago

My dear I tell you 😊

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ewuoso (63) · 7 years ago (edited)

Well i cannot say i will prefer the ancient type cos there are some things that might not be taking during that time, like sex before marriage. Imagine meeting a girl and she is telling yhu to wait till marriage. Except yhu are a virgin oooo mr @onos and about helping a wife/gf, i see nothing wrong with that.

The idea of the proposal is the dumbest thing i have ever heard in my life. We are already dating so why do i have to ask her to marry me again. All the ones i did during toasting nko? or shay akon fo arawa ni?

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2 votes

ewuoso (63) · 7 years ago

well i cannot say i will prefer the ancient type cos there are some things that might not be taking during that time. like sex before marriage. Imagine meeting a girl and she is telling to wait till marriage. Except yhu are a virgin oooo mr @onos and about helping a wife/gf, i see nothing wrong with that.

the idea of the proposal is the dumbest thing i have ever heardd in my life. We are already dating so why do i have to ask her to marry me again. All the ones i did during toasting nko? or shay akon fo arawa ni?

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2 votes

mittymartz (63) · 7 years ago

Funny prize pool

I am having the feeling I will be second
Lemme just stay and read comment

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dailypick (49) · 7 years ago

This post has been upvoted and picked by Daily Picked #7! Thank you for the cool and quality content. Keep going!

Don’t forget I’m not a robot. I explore, read, upvote and share manually :)

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zizymena (59) · 7 years ago

Funny contest

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postpromoter (63) · 7 years ago

You got a 5.01% upvote from @postpromoter courtesy of @onos!

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ulqu3 (66) · 7 years ago

Lol hope the feminists didn't see this

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zizymena (59) · 7 years ago

Funny contest

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