No, “Nigger” Is Not Okay. Even if You Are Black

“...I have managed hence to publicly discuss the word without mentioning the word, like every other hypocrite and coward involved in the conversation.”

Among our neighbors is a nice, young family. Mom works all day, dad all night. During the hand off between the two early in the morning, a couple of dad's friends join him for a cigarette and conversation in a common area outside. They are not criminals, they are not gangstas, they are not low lifes and they are not on the dole. They are workin’ stiff, polite and slaving (no pun intended) away for the life that this Nation offers. But I have a problem with them and do not know how, or if I even should, bring it up.

Oh, I should mention that they and their friends are black.

My problem is the word “Nigger.” I have never heard the word “nigger,” alternatively (and apparently depending on the intensity of the conversation) “nigga” so frequently, over such a compressed period of time, in my life as when the guys get together for their morning bull sessions and ego busting! Heck, while working for ​WHIO​ in Dayton, Ohio, I once covered an INTERNATIONAL Ku Klux Klan gathering in nearby Wilmington, Ohio where some 300 hard-core White Supremacists had gathered. In a couple of hours there I heard the word maybe twice, in this case I hear it seemingly several times a sentence. I suspect that even they (the Klan) just may be offended at the liberal use of the word as it unfolds every morning. I grew up near and in Boston DURING FORCED BUSING and never heard the word so much. We later lived in Philadelphia (!) and rarely heard the word.

I count among my most interesting close acquaintances several ex-Norteños, Sureños, Bloods, Skinheads, Aryan Brotherhoods and other gang bangers. Bodies in car trunks littered my childhood local news during the ​Jerry Angelo-Billy Bulger Mafia Gangland Wars around Boston​, so it's not like I haven't spent enough time immersed in racial and tribal strife, and among racists of all colors. Plus, it’s not an angry use I'm hearing
these days, mind you, it’s as verb, adjective, adverb, noun, and more.
Yes I have used the word in my life. I am ashamed that I ever thought that it was appropriate, outside of news or historically based context. I am loathe to accept the word otherwise, I understand the history and meaning behind it.

I last used the word publicly on the air in 2004. The discussion revolved around an area white middle school student slapping a black classmate with a formal Hate Speech complaint for repeatedly using the word in school and not stopping when the white kid expressed offense.

My callers were split but the tension around the topic was sufficient to penetrate my skull and somehow I have managed hence to publicly discuss the word without mentioning the word, like every other hypocrite and coward involved in the conversation.

So, with that background and understanding, I must ask again all these years later, Why is it okay for my otherwise good neighbors to toss it around like it was weightless and meaningless? Am I wrong for thinking less of them for their casual use of “nigger” Is this an example of fangs being removed from a slur, with the associated guilt on me left hanging around just for fun, like a real life ​Blazing Saddles​?

Will the word eventually be liberated and open the door to facing down the devil that lurks behind? Maybe I should ask that major civil rights group that refers to blacks as "Colored” for their thoughts.