Until Further Notice

I don’t know where to start with this story.

I was supposed to ignore him. That was my plan. He suddenly had ghosted on me a few months ago, he talked about doing a homecoming for the summer but I wasn’t sure if that will still push through. But the plan is, I will just ignore him.

Then, right in the middle of my birthday surprise celebration with friends, he sent a message that he has arrived. I was surprised. I forgot all about him ignoring my messages for the past weeks and all I felt was that I am excited to see him.

The next day, I went through my usual morning Sunday routine of yoga and surfing and other bumming and not-so-productive activities. Afternoon came and he picked me up at the station.

I still haven’t remembered that I was supposed to be mad at him. As I ran to the car and open it up, I can’t help but just feel excited to see him. We hugged and I felt him kissing me a few times on the cheek before he let go and started to drive back to the city.

He parked near my house. I thought we will go someplace else. I asked if I can go to my house first and drop my stuff for a more comfortable set up. He then decided that we just buy something at the grocery, food and drinks and we just stay at my house. In my head, I already knew where this is all going. But so be it.

We talked. We kissed and more. We cuddled a little. Talked more. Kissed again and more.

Conversations. Pure conversations. It had gone a long way. I just couldn’t stop talking my head, I thought I was just thinking, but then, I was already thinking out loud my feelings, in front of him. I told him that I am supposed to just ignored him because I was hurt when he stopped corresponding. He just really came into a time when everything seem to be happy. He got lucky this time. I can't tell if the same chance can happen again.

It was such a very open conversation that I got to share my innermost frustrations and pickiness and just dreamy passion about my upcoming presentation in an international conference. I talked more, he listened more. I tried poking him to talk more, and he did. At some point, his revelations didn’t really surprise me.

In the big city, most likely, he will meet someone as well. I didn't have to courage to ask. What I don't know won't hurt me.

And I am still here. Maybe, will still be here when he gets back? Who knows.

But if there is something else going or if this thing will have somewhere else to go to, only time will tell.

For now, let it be an activity of bonding I chose to do with him. Seven time zones apart again when he flies back to his side of the world.

Will this story have a better ending? Or will it just vanish into thin air like some sort of quick break from reality?

Until further notice.