So @katrina-ariel challenged me to talk about things that take me out of my comfort zone, and for me, there's only one answer: It's people. Specifically, crowds. I can walk around at ICon, our largest convention, where I have been senior staff for YEARS, where I give talks and participate in panels, and if I'm not talking to one of my friends or have a task, I am lost. I look around and think "who are these people?"
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I'm comfortable with my SO, and with my friends. I'm comfortable right here in front of my computer. But "people" as a group? I am very uncomfortable.
Part of it is social anxiety. Part of it is not being great at remembering people's faces. I remember my friends, of course, but at any given time I may have multiple facebook friends around and not know it.
Last year, I found a fairly extreme solution to this. For the first time in years, we didn't have an author guest of honor. So for the first time in years, I didn't have a job at the con. Usually I'm the GoH liaison and head of the GoH team. With no GoH, no job. So I decided to create my own comfort zone. Instead of walking around the con, I picked the nearest nice cafe, and announced to the internet that's where I can be found. I also made friend dates with friends at the con who I don't see often.
One way I've been stepping out of my comfort zone is reward fulfillment events for my publishing house's crowdfunding campaign. Sure, these are people I automatically like: They supported the most important project of my life. And they probably have positive feelings towards me, as they gave me money to be a publisher. But I still don't know most of them, and that's nerve-racking. I love these events, but they are incredibly draining.
So, if we ever meet at a con or something and we're pals online, please let me know who you are on the internet. I'll be instantly more comfortable. Thanks.
Yep. Yeppers. All of this. Social anxiety is a challenge of mine as well. I do much better when I have a task. If forced to engage in small talk, I will disappear as quickly as possible. lol!
This is a great post, @didic, thanks so much for taking me up on the challenge! Did you want to nominate anyone else to do a #nocomfortzone post?
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Thank you!
I opted not to nominate anyone. I'm not comfortable challenging people to stuff. Because anxiety, of course.
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lol! Fantastic answer. Makes perfect sense. 💖
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Sometimes there are times when we need solitude, do not want anyone to interfere. but whatever it is we are also sosaial creatures who inevitably have to socialize with friends - friends are real, a compact team can be built from the virtual world but not solid. that solidity is visible when we interact in the real world. regards to know me @zulacut good writing
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Hahahahaha. This is what the social medias have done to us. It is easier to recognize people when they come online. But meeting them face to face is quite uncomfortable. We all get butterflies when we meet you digital friends for the first time.
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Social media hasn't done it to me. I always had social anxiety. If anything, social media has been a HUGE help, because it broadened my network of friends. That helps a lot.
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Okay great. For most it sure shrinks their esteem. And they end up being quite a talker behind a screen but can't find their words in a face to face conversation. Great content friend
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I would think social media helps. It's easier to small talk when you can do it alone at your computer. Take your time, and pick and choose with who and what you'd like to engage.
Glad you found a way to still participate but in a comfortable way. I'd totally come to the café and chat with ya!
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A person can be nice or mean, boring or interesting. People are just awful though.
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I don't think throughout the eons we were so bomarded with non-stop people everywhere at all times.....you get online...people...t.v. (if you bother watching) people....everything is just a bunch of freaking people and I think it's part of the reason some who are more empathic just crave that solitude in order to find some calm and create
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Its pretty awesome you can connect with people through the interwebs, get to know them, and then be real life friends. It definately makes things less intimidating!
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