“Beep…Beep…”. I immediately switched off my alarm clock and woke up from my bed. It was a Monday morning and I took a glance on my calendar. I knew something exciting was happening on that week, and I was right. It was my third and will be my last School Based Experience (SBE) as a trainee teacher. During the whole week of SBE, my day begins as early as 5:00 in the morning as I have to wake up, get dressed and of course I need to have my breakfast since I am a breakfast person. Then, I make my way to St. Patrick Primary School. As I leave my home at about 6 a.m., the sky is quite dark and the area around my neighbourhood is dimly illuminated by the glow of the street lamps. Despite this, however, the day has already started for most people and there are many things to see on my journey to school.
I began my journey by looking forward to the familiar faces around me. The first person I usually met was the security guard at the front of school gate whom I always exchange greetings with in the morning. There were also several other faces that I looked out for every morning and these include that of other students or office workers. All these people were new to me, at least at that moment. However, I knew I will remember these faces in a matter on just one day as I believe I have this speciality where I can remember people easily even if I just met them for 10 minutes for the rest of my life. Nevertheless, these people and I seem to share a common bond and to some extent, I have grown strangely dependent on them. If I did not see them on a particular morning, for instance, I was plagued by panic attacks (since I am a trainee teacher) as I knew that I had probably missed anything at the school – could be any kinds of impromptu meeting, events or even… relief classes.
The journey to the school was another thing that I look forward to. My dad had to drive me to school every morning and although this journey can be potentially boring, there were certain things that can make them rather interesting. Along the way to the school was a long, grey road with some trees and houses on my left and right view. It was not the best view anyone could get especially for a Monday morning kind of vibe. However, this road really reminded me of my school days where I usually would take the same road and separate to another one of the T-junction near the traffic light.
On my way to school, I mostly saw students, complete in their school uniform which I once wore them too. It reminisced me a lot to my old school days – I got a brief flashback everyday for the whole SBE week on my goals, my dreams, my struggles, the tears and laughter I had before in that particular school uniform with Holy Trinity Secondary School Badge on them. Tears got a little overwhelmed in my eyes but I got to hold it in. I have to! I have to be happy for who I have become today. A teacher.
There was this funny thing on becoming a teacher to me. I have always torn apart between being a lecturer or to be a doctor. My sisters are in the medical field, so I thought to myself “I should not be any less than them. My parents really count on me.” And that statement was true indeed. I was considered as the smarty-pants in my family and so the expectation was high up there. With that, I try to put away my dream to be a lecturer and worked really hard on my Science and Mathematics in school without realising how much I have achieved with English and it is true when they say “Say good words because words are prayers.” And that was what my family always said about me: “Oh, she will definitely be a teacher. An English teacher would be perfect for her! She is good!”. I just smiled and worked on my own things. I know what I ever wanted was to be a lecturer, and probably be working on my PhD by the time I reach around 30 years old. Not a teacher.
Now looking back at where I am, at this very moment, typing this whole essay, my eyes kind of teary again (my sensitive side cannot handle sentimental memories). On the last day of my SBE, there was this little voice in my heart that told me… I really do love this career although there were times where I felt like giving up and hating on my career choice. With my family, friends and most importantly, that one senior whom I met two years ago that I will always look forward to in my life, I will work my best to achieve my dream to be a lecturer and a PhD holder one day. People say, we reach high from the bottom and this is exactly what I am doing. I will reach up from below.