I'm not marrying for love, but to stay completely alone. I decided that I would get used to having children and a normal family.
I am already far beyond thirty and my dreams of love are in the past, but an inferiority complex has appeared. All friends are already married, children are sent to school, and I do not even want to meet with them, so as not to answer their questions, why I'm still alone. Not to mention my parents who dream of their grandchildren so much, but I'm the only child in the family who never lived up to their expectations. By their suffering they pushed me to such a marriage.
I do not want to blame anyone, I decided everything myself, but still the opinion of others strongly influenced me. In addition, the future husband is a serious and wealthy person, to treat me too, without much love, but with respect. He is 39 years old, was not married. I feel good and comfortable with him. The wedding date is already set and I began to have doubts about the correctness of my decision. While I do not share with anyone, my mother is so happy that I'm afraid to even talk about it with her, my father was never close, he is very strict, and his friends have plenty of cares.
I read somewhere that it is impossible to give birth to children without love, that in such a situation the child will be unhappy. But to return everything back is already late, and what is waiting for me - loneliness and disappointed parents? How hard it is to make a choice, how I envy the girls who were able to experience the real feeling, when it even does not occur to cancel the wedding. Worrying also is that the husband also marries without love, but only because of the age and pressure of relatives, and he really wants children. What we have for the family, I do not know, I hope that will endure, fall in love.