I Won't Change (The World) Today

I have been on this earth before
I thought I came here for a reason
But I turned my back on myself
Trust in the negative
Internal treason

I am only human
But just what does this mean
I can be chaotic
Or create something serene

This race was an experiment
I indeed am convinced
And in the world we live in
DIE in
So very few of us are missed

Every day our mortality tears us apart
Everyone wants to time travel
I know I want a fresh start
As space / time unravels

I am no role model
I am no genius
Even if I kicked the bottle
You’d still beg for someone to lead us

I am not better
I like domination
I like creating all of the bullshit
pain and frustration
Within myself
But it can’t be healthy
It’s just a neural network
That’s oh so stealthy

I had much more potential
But what does it matter
I thought I was here
To leave the paradigm shattered
But I cannot combat it
There will be
No help for a pain addict

Maybe I put too much faith in myself
Just one man
And I put too much faith in certain leaders
Who lead movements by command
Wouldn’t we all just rather sip cocktails in the sand?
While the world remains on fire
We witness the end of man

The blasts cannot just be confined
To Iraq and Afghanistan
There is a price to pay
When you cause terror in the land

So few understand blowback
But there’s no doubt it’s coming
There’s no need to live in fear
No need to start the running

My soul wants peace
But my mind is chaotic
No need to try to save me
There’s no way to stop it
No way to slow the process
It’s already begun
I never fought
A battle I won

The fight is the illusion
Life is a contradiction
Reality the delusion
Based on superstition

I always considered myself a realist
Which was a mistake
I always wanted to see
How much I could take

Self-destruction
I bite much more than I can chew
And if you’ve read this far
I apologize to you