Self portraits

Looking at these, I do sometimes miss my long hair. So much has changed for me. At the time of these photos I was midst the most toxic relationship I had ever been in. In love with a textbook narcissist, he could never love me in a healthy way because he was too in love with himself. I was constantly body shamed and reminded of all of the other ways in which I was not good enough for him. His weekly temper tantrums left me without a good sense of self, and frightened in the place I slept every night. When it was finally over, I remember cursing him every night for a month. I would visualize his apartment being destroyed, putting together new verses for new curses. As I healed I gave up my faith. It made me more like him and I wanted to be as unlike that cruel man as possible. Shortly after renouncing my faith I met my current husband, fell in love, and built the happy home I live in now.