My Mental Health Healing

Why do people get depressed? That is a question I will ask my psychiatrist today because I want to know how I caught it?

Everyday I have some sort of mental illness the main one is anxiety. Why do I have anxieties & what are they?

I need the psychiatrist to give me some answers today. I am having a anxiety attack right now, My appointment is at 2pm I will leave at 1 pm via lyft and I am super nervous I been this way since 5am it is now 8am.
I am tripping and I have no one to talk to no support. When I call nurse lines they are so fake and phoney no help at all, next time you call one of these lines listen for the empathy , you wont hear it.

What does it feel like to be unhappy?
It feel like nothing is never good enough for anybody, why try? Its stressful trying to live the definition of happiness

IT'S FUCKING DIFFICULT!!!
why am I crying now? why can't people understand they make me sad.
YOU MAKE ME SAD!
I just want to be free I feel stuck I am in a prison I don't care,
I need to learn to care no one else will truly care I am on my on alone in the world I have nothing and no one.

I am having another anxiety attack right now, right fucking now yes right now .
Who taught me these behaviors? Like this cant be natural to be born with anxiety? I do know my grandmother had it and sometimes I wonder did my subconsvious mind learn some of the behaviors anbd now I mimic them or is it hereditary? There is nothing wrong with seeking mental health treatment your brain needs help to stay healthy. Every human should have a therapist like they have a medical doctor.
Depression aint no joke I been in denial and I truly dislike being mentally ill I need solutions not pills
dont dope me the fuck up then act like I got a drug problem after you been doping me the fuck up.

too be continued