I blame Mr Darcy for my high expectations of men (part 2, the solution part revealed)

Credit source image http://www.keepcalmandposters.com/poster/56790_keep_calm_and_love_durian

Durian! You either LOVE it, or HATE it.... There seems to be no in between. Some, like myself a 10 year resident of Malaysia, worked at it and came to love it but it was through commitment and a strong desire to want to be closer to my Singaporean partner (and this type of commitment that makes for a Beautiful relationship I will discuss in future blogs)

So what has durian got to do with love?

Put yourself in the shoes of someone who DOESN'T like Durian. Obviously if you knew they didn't like Durian you probably wouldn't give them Durian, you would ask them what it is they wanted Yes? But sometimes you might invite someone for Durian and they could love it or they could pretend they love it because they like you. Humans do this strange thing, we don't communicate clearly and effectively, often because we don't want to hurt another's feelings. So your friend "could" be munching on Durian smiling and thinking "I am seriously about to vomit" but continues because they like you, want to impress you or don't want to disappoint you.

Yes yes... I know.... Many of you are like "WILL YOU GIVE ME THE SOLUTION ALREADY!!"

To fully grasp how powerful this solution is its best to use an example to relate to partly because it is so simple most people won't believe it can be as simple as it is and partly because applying it needs to be a mindful exercise for most people.

Let's deviate briefly... So not everyone likes durian right? What if I said that when it comes to love there are only 5 different fruits of which durian is one (to stick with the fruit example) and therefore 5 key ways to give and receive love.

Let's say that Love in action could be described using Durian, Mangosteen, Oranges, Apple's and Bananas.... I am sure that amongst those 5 fruits there would perhaps be one you loved, two you liked a lot, one you could take or leave and maybe one that you really didn't like at all.

Now. Imagine a friend (or your love) brings you a case of oranges. You know your Sayang (your love) LOVES oranges and so you would accept them happily despite the fact that you can't stand them. You may feed the oranges to the ducks so as not to eat them because you wouldn't want to offend your love. Your love is so happy because they think you like oranges and so they continue to give you oranges even though they mean nothing to you. You see, you like apples, Apple's are your favourite and you give apples to almost everyone EXCEPT your Sayang because you know they actually like oranges.

My point is this.... We all have different tastes and we all give and receive love differently (like I said previously it's been shown there are 5 key ways to give and receive love) and if you love apples but your love loves oranges then you need to be giving them oranges!!! At the same time you need to tell them you love apples and the kicker is sometimes you don't even know you love apples... Confused?

Before I share what these 5 types of Love are I must share this because it is so powerful it is incredulous. I have a partner who, if I did NOTHING ELSE other than empty the rubbish, help around the house, wash the dishes all WITHOUT being asked, there would be more action in the bedroom than I could handle... Yes it's funny but true. The reason is that her primary love language is what is called "acts of service" and this is how she shows and receives love the most.

These 5 Love actions are called the 5 Love Languages and as previously pointed out the one mentioned above is "Acts of Service". The 5 Love Languages as discovered and created by Gary Chapman a Pastor in the US are

Acts of Service
Quality time
Physical touch
Words of affirmation
Gifts

Now I can hear many of you saying... "oh really? I have heard of this stuff" and it's true you may have, but how many of you actually use it and understand how to use it to make your relationship BLOOM, because this, these 5 Love Languages, can COMPLETELY TRANSFORM your Love life in the simplest and most powerful of ways.

So I could keep tagging you along and end the blog here but being a reasonable Mr Darcy I will make this a longer than normal post and share with you how to work out what your love language is (simply click on the 5 Love languages link below and do a simple 5 min to 10 min test) and in my next post I will provide some real working examples of not only how they work but how understanding and using these love languages on a daily basis can get you everything you want in life, more Love, more time to yourself, a happier life, more quality of life, a deeper emotional connection with your partner and more and better sex than ever!!!

So until next time take a few minutes to watch this sweet video below that explains it some more and click the link at the very bottom of the blog post and do the short test to determine what your primary and secondary love languages are, once you know what they are let us know in the comments below so that your steemit friends know how best to fill your love tank (this will be explained further in the next post) and yes you will love it that people know and understand your love language.

For the record mine are

Words of affirmation
Quality time &
Physical touch

Acts of Service and gifts are almost a zero for me. So here is a hint... If you are a gift person and you give me gifts because you love giving gifts because it's your primary way of showing Love, your gift (love) will meaning nothing to me because gifts are virtually a zero for me.

However tell me I am good at something or that you appreciate what I do for you, and I will respond to you like a flower to sunshine because words are my love language.

Credit source image

“In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.”
― Jane Austen, Pride And Prejudice

In the meantime...

LOVE MORE, BE AWESOME!

Credit video source from you tube by Rayawashere

The sweet video clip I mentioned that explains it well

Credit site from 5 Love Languages
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/