From 5 Desperados on A Bus to Dancing on Tables to Blacking Out to Suicidal to Completely Sober

in ocd •  4 years ago 

"Suicide really became an option and the choice was to live or die. I am so fucking happy I didn’t kill myself."

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Left is from active addiction/Right is sober and sexy

HUGE @recoveryinc shoutout to Charlotte.

The night the picture on the left was was taken was a crazy. That night before even getting to my friends to get ready to go out I'd turned up half an hour after work after drinking 5 Desperados within my half hour journey on the bus. By this time I was consuming alcohol and drugs like they were constantly running out. I had no stop button anymore. I made such a fool of myself that night, dancing on tables, not being able to walk and continuously walking into the road (which you would have thought being run over 2 years before might not have been a good idea, that's blackout for you) I don’t remember any of this night apart from coming out of blackout around 4am in someones flat and wondering where the fuck I'd been all night.

That still wasn’t enough to stop me drinking, I had a few more months till suicide really became an option and the choice was to live or die. I am so fucking happy I didn’t kill myself. I have the most incredible life today and when things hardly ever go my way I'm so happy they don’t. Because I make a mess of everything I think I should do. I've turned my whole life over to my Higher Power and this is a love and faith like I've never felt. If anyone is struggling with drinking, I promise you there is a better way to life. One where you don’t have to drink or use ever again.

He told me I could be anything, I asked him to keep me sober!🙏❤

Have a beautiful day my Instagram & Facebook family 💛❤☀️🦋🥰

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