Nigeria is a country in West Africa with about 184.23 million citizens according to the Nigeria's National Population Commission. That puts Nigeria on number 1 in the world as the most populous black nation and the 7th Most Populous Country in the World.
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That is no mean feat, like all developing country it had its ups and downs; that is to be expected as a lot of things are still developing. But there are things that make us unique or stand out even when you meet a fellow countryman outside of Nigeria.
Today I want an event that completely depicts our "Nigerianess", a story that makes you say, "This definitely happened in Nigeria."
In not less than 300 words and not more than 400 words, under this article, write a genuine story (the judges, who are anonymous by the way to improve fairness, would run each story through a plagiarism scanner) that depicts a typical Nigerian experience.
Please do not submit an article shorter than 300 words or longer than 400 words. If you do not know how to check the number of words, copy and paste your article into this link here https://wordcounter.net/ to determine the number of words.
Any article that that fails the above instructions would not be considered.
To be eligible for this campaign, contestants are urged to resteem this article for a wider audience participation. Upvoting the article is optional, but upvote would be good as it gives the account more SBD for future contests.
Rewards:
First Prize: 7 SBD
Second Prize: 5 SBD
Third Prize: 3 SBD
Fourth Prize:2 SBD
Two of the participants would be chosen at random to win 1 SBD each, remember this contest is not about SBD, just to encourage one another and show the world the Nigeria most of them do not get to see.
Contests runs till post payout (7 days). Winners would be announced thereafter.
Important notice: This contest, at the moment, is open only to the Nigeria community. Other contests may consider people of other nationalities. Have fun.
Surgical Blades
(398 words)
"You'll have to stay awake throughout the surgery", the chief surgeon announced to me as I lay there, motionless on the surgical table.
I had been trying to get my mind off the surgery and all the buzz about me and the beeping monitor wasn't helpful. Certainly, knowledge of the fact that I had to be awake for the entire surgery was nothing near what I would have loved to hear right now. I had looked forward to sleeping all through the surgery and waking up not to remember a thing. Afterall, I had paid for anaesthetics and oxygen. I didn't know which was more annoying, the fact that I'd witness myself being operated on which I had learnt could cause post-op trauma or the fact that I knew the ten thousand naira I paid for the anaesthetics and oxygen wouldn't be refunded. I was damn sure. This was Nigeria and corruption is everywhere. Though disgruntled, I could however not mummur a word of complain.
The doctors weren't exactly nice people I wanted to converse with. Being an addict of "Botched", I had expected surgeons who were very cordial and friendly much like Dr. Nassif and Terry who ran the show. Who am I kidding though? Those are plastic surgeons and these are lame whatever surgeons. I just really can't wait to get this surgery done and over with. This wasn't a plastic surgery afterall. I had been diagnosed with hernia last month and the surgery was to correct the defect. The sooner they got started, the sooner I'd be out of here and recuperating in my ward.
The two surgeons who were to operate on me moved closer and one picked up an injection and immense pain followed as he began to inject me severally. He said it was to numb the area. I wasn't listening though. I was contemplating slapping his bald head and bailing on the surgery. The annoying assistant surgeon kept singing "Wo" by Olamide, which was actually nauseating. Though i love the song, not only the fact that I felt it was ethical but also that I was in pain and he was dancing made me angry. Could this day get any worse? Well, next time I'll careful what you wish for because it did get worse. The light above me flickered. And you wouldn't believe what happened next.
There was a power outage!
"Welcome to Nigeria", I grunted to myself.
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Hi @ajremy,
I'm not a doctor, but I know spinal anaesthetics (the one given to you that keeps you awake during surgery) is mostly given to a patient undergoing lower limb (used for most operations below the waist) while the surgery involving the upper limb area (chest, neck, etc) require general anaesthetics (the one that makes you sleep) only.
As for the doctor singing, some talk to you to distract you from thinking on what is going on or generally keep your mind off and somehow keep you alert during the duration of the surgery. The electricity going off is just not professional, I wonder why they do not have backup generator.
Both are safe techniques in safe hands. Remember safety depends on patient condition, anesthesiologist’s expertise, facilities available in operation theatre, etc.
Well told story. Well done. Keep steeming.
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Great info bro. The singing part was annoying though, I'd have prefered him talking to me.
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@ajremy, I can understand given the intensity of the situation.
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This is beautifully written. I enjoyed every bit😂. Kudos fam
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Thanks. It's always nice to be appreciated. God bless you
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I didn't
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We'll be looking out for your entry next time!
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“Hello Bros! Siiii!”, someone tapped my shoulder. I turned to see a tall dark guy wearing a clean suit. I scanned him further. He was wearing a shiny gold watch and black well-polished Italian shoes. Expensive! I thought to myself.
“Yes. Can I help you?” I tried to maintain my cool.
“Hey bro! How do you do? I just came back from the states. Came to visit a friend of mine”. He spoke in a British accent. You are from the states but speaking Brits.
“Okay”, I was still listening for the main reason why he stopped me. I was in a hurry trying to rush to work by 7am in the busy traffic of Lagos. I would not have answered but for the fact there was no bus in sight yet.
“Do you know Ojuelegba very well?” He asked.
“Bros what are all these questions for? As you can see I’m heading to ….”. I said angrily expecting him to just walk away but I was interrupted by his ringtone. He quickly picked up.
“Hello Chrisk Global on the line. Good morning Alhaji Musa”, he voiced into the receiver. “The container has landed? Oh I see. Many phones of variety you said.” He paused for azzz while as if he was listening to the man talking. I was hearing some things from the receiver. I had very acute ears. This Musa is speaking Igbo language?.
“How much for the goods?” He listened. “18 million. Okay I will tell my boys to send it now”.
When I heard 18million Naira my ears opened. You see, even though I had a job, serving as Chrisk’s assistant could be the opportunity I had been looking for. I was interested that by the time he dropped the call.”
“Boss! How can I work in your company. I’m Thomas by name but you can call me TomCoded.”
“Can you buy goods? We give you at company price and you make much gain” Chrisk said.
“Of course. Where are the goods?”
“They are in our warehouse. Once you pay, we supply you”. I think that was when my brain started working again. I was on the verge of being 419ed.
Luckily a bus was rolling by and the conductor was shouting “Oshodi! Oshodi”. I didn’t even tell my new friend goodbye as I ran.
Original Story by @nairadaddy
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Lol.. You for enter one chance with the guy from the states with a British accent. #onlyinnigeria
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Lolx. No be small one-chance oh. Thank God for brain!
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@nairadaddy my friend you were lucky you didn't follow to the warehouse ooo. If not all your naira go finish you would even describe yoir best friend's house to them. Those people use charm to hypnotize people too. Well am glad you quickly ran fir you dear life by entering oshodi instead of ojuelegba bus. Lol. Naija for life✌
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Lolx. I ran as if a masquerade was chasing me my dear....Going to Ojuelegba would have finished my naira indeed.
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Lol... am glad you could tell it as a story here.
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Lol! well represented "nigerianess". this one. Lol
Steem on! 🐬🐬🐬
#Hug-Challenge
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Lolx. They almost got me on the hook...
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Hmm... Before i share my story with you guys, if you are a Nigerian living in nigeria and you havent been dupped i will say a big congratulations to you and advice you to learn from my story.
I was meditating at home one faithful morning early this year and a friend of mine called me on my phone and told me about a ponzi scheme that was about to be launched that morning, he further adviced me to register two accounts so that i can make my profit quickly, i was so excited to hear this because my account balance was running low already and i needed something to help me ministry 😁.
I quickly requested for the web address and register my two accounts, hmm.... What a day, after about 20 minutes of completing the registration i was finally merged to make payments in both accounts, I wish there was a prophet around to tell me the outcome of my decition on that great day.
I picked up my mobile banking app to make transfer but UBA mobile Banking was not working, so i called the guy i was supposed to pay, he told me the thing is very fast that he just made payment in about 10 minutes ago, on hearing this my blood was boiling i took the ATM card and went straight to the bank to make transfer only to get there and discover it was with my mum's ATM card I entered bike home to pick up my own ATM card and finally the transfer was successful.
But i have been waiting to recieve my own payment since february but no show I lost my 20k just like that, then I called my friend that informed me about the site because he said he knows one of the admins his money was gone too . We learnt the site crashed an hour after it was lauched, ever since then I dislike ponzi schemes. Am 100% Nigerian
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@elixbaba, it's a ponzi, what do you expect? Straightforward guys? It is like walking into water and expecting to not get wet.
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Thanks @onquality for this
My EntryThis reminds me of an incident that happened during my service year.I served in Gombe state,the Northern part of Nigeria.During my service year, I gathered some experiences.There are some that I can never forget due to the lesson I learn, and one of them is what am sharing here. I met a wonderful guy during that period and I just have to take him as my friend, he is a corps member too,we were the only one posted to that area for our PPA.
This my new friend is somebody that love chasing girls and comparing with my kind of person, I don’t like such, and most atimes he just needs to go out alone to hook up with some of these babes and sometimes they have to lock me outside whenever they find their ways inside the room because we are using the same room. I just have to endure it and I keep advising him and hoping that one day he will either change or the service year will be over. The journey continued and I warned him that he needs to be very careful as those guys in the Northern part don’t like seeing guys with their babes(sorry to say).
One day we were going for CDS and he pointed to one hut built with mud and he told me that he is targeting one girl there, and whereas when I looked that place very well, I saw they wrote “Ba Shiga” (Meaning: No entry), I interpreted the meaning to him but it seems he has made up his mind already, I decided to leave him to his faith. We returned home on that day and in the evening, he went out as usual, but unfortunately, on coming back, he has to force the door to open, he came back panting heavily with bruises, I had to quickly lock the door and off light. At last, I was made to realize that, he was chased from that babe’s house that I warned him not to go to. Since then, he turns a new live.This taught me to always watch before I leap and to always yield to positive advices. Though his own hard way experience taught me lesson.
Thanks for reading
Regards @maintain4real-eu
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Corper's Wee. I am actually serving at the moment in Ibadan. I can relate to that
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Lolx. The guy no wan hear Ba-Shiga. Its been for him! Cheers man!
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Congratulations @onequality! You have completed some achievement on Steemit and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :
Click on any badge to view your own Board of Honor on SteemitBoard.
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This is beautiful concept @onequality. Well done. Maybe I woukd think of some thing later but right now I just want to read tgrough tbis amazing Nigerian stories. Lol. Well done!
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@gloglo, thank you too. Yeah, you could join the competition, you meet the criteria; you are Nigerian and you are on steemit.
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Err... we’re still waiting!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lol
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I am a Nigerian and I am still trying to think
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About a year ago,in a south western state in Nigeria, a new election was conducted to bring an end to the tenure of an eight-year Governor and there were about three outstanding candidates among many others that carried no real weight.
A debate was organised and two of the Outstanding candidates went and the third stayed back. We, the citizens, knew he wouldn't come because he had earlier flunked the previous debate he had four years back when he first contested. Now, he didn't show up for reasons best known to him. That seemed like an insult to the whole citizens because everybody gathered around their TVs waiting for the candidates to come and speak what they had in mind for us. These debates are like unofficial manifestos.
Then, the debate ended the day of the election came and guess what happened, every candidate brought out money to pay the populace that were ready to vote and the third candidate had the highest amount: 5000 naira.
So, the citizens took the money and voted and now , He is the Governor. That can only happen in Nigeria.
Yet, I wouldn't say the other candidates would have been better off. that is the twist.
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@akintunde, not that hard to deserve that much thought. Thank you.
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Nice one @onequality, one question please can the link of our post be dropped at the comment section or just the #onequality tag only?
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@steve1122 Make the post and drop it as a comment here. The post should be in the comment. I hope it is clearer now. Thank you.
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Good luck with your contest. I am not Nigerian, only met once a nice lad. What are your t-shirts about?
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Hi, thank you for the compliment. Which t-shirt are you referring to?
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Well, one speaks for itself, I mean the printed t-shirts. Are you walking green?
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No, just a picture depicting a Nigerian. Thank you.
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I was in a small shop trying to buy a pen when two young ladies walked in.
They made a beeline to where the owner of the shop was, a middle-aged lady, the first said,
"Madam do you have cain-dul?" The owner of the shop looked at them blankly, confusion clearly showing on her face. She replied and said no. As they were walking out it hit me what they were trying to buy. I looked up her shelves and saw lots of packets of candles. The British accent was just too much for the uneducated shop owner and I pointed it out to her and she smiled, "My son, you do not know the things I suffer from these students here, they know quite well I am not educated but every day they enter here they say things I do not understand."
I empathized with her.
As I made to step out, I heard a tiny voice calling "Uncle. Uncle, wait, Auntie said you should come back and take your change." It turned out I have forgotten my change. I am not the girl's uncle, but I am older than her. The shop owner is not her aunt but she is "Auntie" because she is older.
In Nigeria, it is not out of place to see people refer to each other as brother, uncle, auntie, when they share no blood ties. A brother could be a male that you met along the road, an uncle is just an older male, while aunt goes for the older female. Students too, some of the time try to display their mastery of English language by speaking in accents you could not place. Not unusual to hear an American accent from a person who had never left their state. I smiled as I remembered these things happen often in Nigeria and may confuse a new person, but not me, I'm 100% Nigerian. Lol.
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Green runs in the blood. Uncle greenrun don't let them confuse you o.
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@mr-aaron, I won't :)
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Haha... "cain-dul" indeed. Our naija babes too much.😂😂😁
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@gloglo, they just got the shopowner confused. It was really fun watching it happen that day.
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Uncle @greenrun Auntie @gloglo said you should come and buy cain-dul from uncle @mr-aaron. Don't forget your change this time oh. Lolx!
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@nairadaddy, I would try to remember this time. Thanks.
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Haha... all I want is for the uncles to buy their cain-duls ooo and nothing more. The uncle and auntie thing though. Naija forever!😊😁
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@onequality, I just did. Thank you
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A lodgemate saw me and asked, "Aaron you never travel?" Although the answer is obvious I smiled and said yes.
I was suppose to travel today but decided to postpone it till tomorrow.
"So you are still around?" she added.
I pretended I did not hear that. So I decided to finally drop my entry.
Only in Nigeria will someone ask you about something they already know but get angry when you don't give them answer or give them the answer that suits the question.
If my memory serves me right then this is the reason I hate watching movies with my mum.
There was a scene where someone was under attack and the suspense was much. The next question I heard was that, "hope they won't kill him?" No one replied. We felt it was just a mere impulse caused by the suspense. She demanded again for an answer then I replied that we are both watching it together and moreover I didn't write the script to the movie so I don't know.
If you've been in this same situation you will understand better.
She got angry and replied, "I am your mother why would you be so rude. Is it not ask that I ask. If I know would I ask you?"
I wonder if you are a Nigerian if your parents did not tell you so much about bad boys in the university (although they've never been to the university). When I gained admission, mum warned me to stay off the path of cultists in school. She even said they have special colours of clothes and she also seized my red trousers so that they won't attack me.
My first day in school I was welcomed by smokers in my new lodge. Mum warmed me to stay off their path but now they've found their way to mine. They were jovial, contrary to what mum said. They asked if I brought bread for them. I told them not yet but I will get it immediately. I dropped my bag. Took a bike and bought bread for all of them. Lol... It was later that I realized that some of them were my level mate. Now if they open eye for me, I open eye for them too.
Only in Nigeria will a girl slay on her wall but beg for recharge card in inbox.
Proudly green..
@mr-aaron
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That was how I decided to get to ogunpa at ibadan to get somethings and it was really a rough market experience, I went to a woman’s store and just as I picked up a slippers and I was trying to check if it was durable or not, she looked at me and said, se efe ra ni a bi ewo len se bayi (do you want to buy or which one are you doing now), I felt insulted and I dropped the slippers and walked out of her presence, I heard her shouting, radarada, e o kuku nikan ra tele (rubbish, it is not as if you wanted to buy before).
Why will someone who desires to sell a product act in this manner? I questioned myself as I walked further, I later meet a calm lady who sold what I wanted for me and I left the market.
On getting to the garage, the agberos began to pull; Aunty e ma bo ni bi (come here), they tried to collect my bag and even pull off my hands, I was really angry and I shouted at them to leave me alone, they left my hand and hurried to another customer.
I finally settled on a bus I liked because the driver has a calm face, after some time, other passengers began to fill in the bus and the supposed driver and three other men got down from the bus, I was wondering what the problem was and a woman told me that they are not passengers, they only sat on the bus to make it look full and attract customers, what sort of deceit is this, I asked myself again?
Instead of carrying two people in the front seat, another person joined which made them three, I have never seen a thing like that before but was sure that policemen will stop us on the road. We got to a junction where policemen and women were standing, and one of them shouted, let him stop look at his front seat, I was glad that the law will catch up with this annoying driver, until he gave her 200Naira and her faced changed immediately, she smiled and said you can go.
I was stunned, I placed my hand on my head and I just tried all I could to control myself from screaming.
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Lol
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