This is my unofficial entry to Steemit Open Mic Week 89.
Just wrote a freshly-squeezed song and recorded it as raw as possible in one take on my cell so I don't forget it. Didn't try to polish it at all because I thought I would continue to work on it over time and perhaps record it once its finished this way I can make a post later that would show the process of creating, honing, and producing a song. Please forgive the mistakes and thanks for listening.
Songs are like children. They start out as babies and grow over time. Unless you're a songwriter it's hard to understand that. Most people hear a song once it's completely finished and never hear it in its infancy.
I have a friend who wrote and produced a song performed by Sheryl Crow called Leaving Las Vegas. You may have heard it as it was a big hit. But if you heard what it sounded like when he wrote it you would have never known it could be such a popular song. It sounded like a redneck Bob Dylan sang it with a pinch of tobacco in his mouth. About as shit-kicking, hillbilly as you could get.
That song sat on a shelf until he pulled it out while producing her first album, Tuesday Night Music Club and the rest is history. There were quite a few songs on that album with interesting backstories that perhaps I'll share with you one day.
Anyway, I thought I would make this crude first draft and continue to work and polish the song. I think it will make a good post for musicians to see the process from start to finish. It really is an art.
Hope you enjoy this version for what it is, raw.
Try Again
Verse: Dm / B7 flat / Dm / B7 flat / G7 / B7 flat / F / C / G / B flat
Chorus: F/ C / G / B flat/ C/ F/ C / G / Gm / B flat/ C
Eagle soaring in the sky
how'd you learn to fly like that?
Did it come naturally?
Do you think that you could teach me?
Where'd you get the nerve to jump
or did somebody push you?
Maybe just a little shove is
all I need to get me going.
Little ant with giant hopes
never doubted for a day
you could move the rubber tree
ten times more than you weigh.
Always looking down on you.
Lessons you could teach me.
Could I borrow half your faith?
It's all I need to know I can.
Jump into the arms of the universe.
Hope it's going to catch me.
If I fall and hit the dirt
how bad you think it's going to hurt?
Pick me up and dust me off,
get back up and try again.
Spider spinning out a web
praying on another meal.
Wind come blow it all away
I know just how you feel.
Test your virtuosity.
Talk about tenacity.
Build yourself another one
better than before
and if the wind should come again
you can always take up flying.
Jump into the arms of the universe.
Hope it's going to catch me.
If I fall and hit the dirt
how bad you think it's going to hurt?
Pick me up and dust me off,
get back up and try again.
You've been "caught by the Universe," brother - dusted off and otherwise validated for all your tenacity and musical glory. This is but one small reason why the Open-Mic is what it is... Peace-Out, brother... I fucking LOVE this!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
There is something to be said about persistence and consistency. Glad you liked it @passion-ground.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Naw, man... I friggin' loved it... Nothing at all to do with persistence nor consistency - simply all to do with you and your expression here, bro... fucking awesome is the bottom line!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Right on! That was great! Thanks For Playin Open Mic!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Man... I've never told you, and I feel like I should...
You are one of the most positive supportive dudes of our community!!
Thank you for being you...
I notice man.. it might not seem at times, but I notice!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Luz is the man! - ...a "man's man"... and that you can take to the bank! And he doesn't differentiate between the sexes - just in case any snow might be in the forecast... It's all blue sky, brothers and sisters! .x
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Aww, shucks. Thanks, @meno.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Wait a minute, let's make it official.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Ha-haaaa!!!!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
jo jo
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
I like official😂😂😂
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Well that was just fuckin’ awesome!⭐️ I realize that’s not the most articulate response, but you’ve got me all pumped and smilin’ big! I’ve only ever seen your face as a pixelated 2-D thumbnail. Hearing and seeing your jolly spirit makes me grin, ear to ear! 😁 Annnd — the song is rad, too — off to a splendid start. I look forward to hearing its evolution. WOOT! 💜
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Thanks, @zi[[orah. I love your music. Just realized I missed your show on @meno's Songwriter's Showcase so I'm listening to it now. Love everything about your music.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Thank you, dear! That means a lot coming from you. 💜 Truly — before joining Steemit and discovering the Open Mic community, my music lived in quiet place of ‘once daydreams’ — not so unlike a beloved teddy bear, tucked away with other nostalgic keepsakes; occasionally held with a sense of loss and longing. 🌿 I’m so deeply grateful for the love and kindness you’ve all shown me and my little songletts — you’ve revived my muse and given me a new sense of purpose. 🌺 THANK YOU. 💕 xoxo!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
This is awesome Luz!!! BADASS SONG!!!
I hear it all produced in my head already!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
I know you have those kinds of ears @meno.
Songwriters and musicians are two different breeds.
I was hanging with Willy Nelson once and he put the fine point on the difference.
Musicians, he said, play songs. Songwriters will play the same song for days, weeks, months, years. Most musicians will get bored playing the same song for more than half an hour. Songwriters can go on and on, trying different things, different keys, beats, tones.
Anyway, you got those ears bro.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Thank you for the compliment brother...
Btw.. I gotta tell you... looks like I've secured the @steembirds for tomorrow's Radio Show...
It should be real fun...
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Awesome. I'll definitely be there for that. What time does it start again?
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
10pm eastern time!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
So, what instruments do you hear playing it?
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
I hear a hammond, a gibson fat tone (think bonamassa), bass and drums....
Hammond is key... give it enough old school and anchor the style down....
@pechichemena
What do you think?
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Yup , Old schoolish .. I might include acoustics and electrics ;) . Who knows , it does have a songwriter's touch ! Agree with the hammond if you want to keep it on the school side.. Elec keys might bring it more to ''today''. Bass and drums.. yep.. rock style .. a P-bass and heavy energy hitter !
Btw .. awesome song Luz! I loved it ! I hope to see it finished.. of course.. if you'd like me to help with the production.. count me in !
Rock on Luz!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
harmonica solo will be awesome in the last part of the song ;)
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
That’s what I was just saying about the production!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
That's the first time I've heard you play in this format. Very cool tune! It has that kali chorus sound so you've never lost your roots:)
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
It's the first time I've posted on Open Mic. I guess it does sound Kali-esque.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
NICE SONG @luzcypher !!
<3
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Sounding pretty sweet man!
Songwriting feels like the hardest thing - it just doesn’t come naturally to me but you got ‘it’.
When you get around to it is there a chance of getting some stems please?
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
para leer
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Luz I love your smile it just grabs me from the inside and then I start to smile. contagious !! Absolutely loved hearing you perform mate, funky cool song you kick ass my friend. huge love all day everyday
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Hey man, you're really good...! Awesome :-D
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Holy hell, man. I am embarrassed to say I never heard you sing before now. I'm going to go stand in the corner and be punished now for being late to the party, but I'm playing this vid in the background. Kick ASS. Much respect, truly. Spectacular.
♥-serena
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Wow that was surprising!, you should record that one properly with a full band! :D
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
It would be cool to have a band record it.
What instruments do you hear playing it?
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
An alternative rock band, drums, bass and 2 guitars lml...
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Great sound Boss...!!!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
I am impressed @luzcypher it really sounds like some hit from the 90s and I love it, I would love to be your drummer
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
You have style in the guitar man..good execution.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Great!!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Me gustó mucho. Saludos
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Wuaoooo
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Muy linda canción amigo, me ha encantado la letra, saludos desde venezuela.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Ahhhh yeah! Wow awesome @luzcypher Man, thanks for sharing that with us. Great to see you jammin and what a great song. Loved it!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Damn hot Song! REally like that Bluesy Rocknrolly Feel...
A Bass, Eguitar and Drums and this could really be an eagles or Bruce SPringsteen Hit :)
Wonderful...could get used to those unofficial Posts every Week...
Best Wishes,
Johannes
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Wow. That song has made me like you even more. Thank you and much love, sir.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Wow. That song has made
Me like you even more. Thank
You and much love, sir.
- gtelefon
I'm a bot. I detect haiku.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
I would be happy to put a track together for this. I'll send you an mp3 once completed, great tune Brother!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Go for it! That would be awesome to hear you cover this.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
It was sweet of you to share this @luzcypher
I like the freshness of the songs when they are born.. sometimes as I write them and I go forward, they lose part of it... or they shift into something else...
Loved this line
Jump into the arms of the universe.
Hope it's going to catch me.
And actually is funny cos I'm a kind of person that do wonder about ants carrying weight and spiders doing industrious cobwebs hahaha XD and I "admire" them. No joke. I really give biscuits to the ants of my house just to see them working hahah XD
sounds weird I know :)
But I think they teach us things really...
I wish I could take the leap too like that eagle... Need to let go some fears and burdens to do so...
Maybe there is no edge at all.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Luzcypher. I love what you do. You radiate pure life energy, how playful you move, how beautifully you sing and what a brilliant chord sequence you have chosen. I love the B7 flat chord and changing in into the major parallel in the chorus was also a great idea. I wish you the best. Stay as full of life as you are. Peace.
Sami D. Barid
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Thanks, man. I love listening to you play.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
El Host tambien participa.. saludos!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Friend I just need your beard, what an excellent piece, I liked your style, with some country with rock.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Great to hear you play! Been waiting for this, hope all is well with you man!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Great to hear you play!
Been waiting for this, hope all
Is well with you man!
- jumpmaster
I'm a bot. I detect haiku.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
I 'm listening with pleasure . Great song and vocals !
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Qué gusto, @luzcypher. No la vi venir. Me encantó tu presentación y el tema está genial! XD
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
That was great man! as I supposed it should be!!
Congrats!!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
That first little lick is nice. Song overall is pretty good too, love the sound, like a whinny-less John Mayer. Like, if I was walking down the street and you were playing at a restaurant...that's where I'd have my lunch. Just saying. Nice work. I could try and put a little uke part together after a few listens. The only song I've composed on my own has been a rendition of the little mermaid 'Part of your world'....nahhhh, I'll leave it you.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
good entry, hope you won this week! ahahahahaha, whoah, its such a joy giving a voice to you, thank you! love your message. good vibes
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
i suggest that at the first of the video you say "Steemit openmic week .." and your username, but anyway, was a good entry :P
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Hahahaha!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
yeaaaahhhh aunque no entienda nada wow que buen song!!!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Yea baby, nice to hear ya sing and of course play some guitar!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
AWESOME BRO!!
Rad riff! Especially minor feel coming off the hooky chorus.
So many influences I can hear in this. Elements of the Beatles, elements of The Rolling Stones and even The Black Crowes.
It was easy to imagine the production in my head to this which is indicative of a well written tune.
And then to cap it off there’s your radiant smile beaming throughout! So good!
What is the high-figure wood that the guitar top is made from? Kinda looks like walnut, or even a variation of an Australian wood called Bunya Pine.
Maybe @meno can recognise it..?
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
@luzcypher I forgot to mention that it'd be amazing to collab on this tune with you! Maybe that's how we can have our first jam before we meet in the offline world.
Blissful blessings and smiles
in joy
Nathan
NK
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
I would love to hear you work your magic on this song @nathankaye! Go for it!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Really cool song man.. I really dig the groove. What kind of guitar is that?
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
It's an Ibanez. Actually, @brimax can be seen playing the exact same guitar in some of his videos.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Nice.. I like the trim on it alot.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Wow, what a cool song! It was a pleasure to watch your video.
All the Best!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Oh my god, you are very good, I loved it
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Hey it's great to hear you singing and playing guitar you have a lot of style I loved, I will give reesteem to always have this song close when I want to listen, is great I love how you are staying, I hope to see the whole process of future arrangements, you have motivated me to Improve my compositions, I soon hope to show the work culminated. A hug!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
It's now clear to me why you run the openmic.
Never knew u could play n even sing too
Whoa!
Very good one sir @luzcypher
I think I should come for some tutorials😊😊😊
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
yo!!!!! easy bro!!! check you out with your funkylicious and goovy vibes onn the geeetarrrrrrr!!! loving this bro, you got a cool style both with your guitar playing and your charsmatic vocals, you in my top 5 this week for sure!!!!!!!!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Thanks, @moderndayjester! It was great to see you win Open Mic and I'm glad you stuck around. Also loved the collaboration you did with @soundlegion. I've got that tune on my iPod now.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
wow Luzy! I can't believe in all this time, this is the first time I saw you play. (apart from a vid of you in a band that you showed me from YEARS ago....I could barely even recognise you!)
You are rocking it dude, its a great song. Hope these guys get it together and produce it for real....! Looks like theres a lot of love for it :)
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Thanks. Missing your music @basilmarples. Hope to hook up with you again at SteeFest 3 wherever it is.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
This post was shared in the Curation Collective Discord community for curators, and upvoted and resteemed by the @c-squared community account after manual review.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
hello @luzcypher, excellent brother style, I liked it a lot.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
excelente gran maestro david
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Really nice, @luzcypher! Great energy and positivity in this song. Big love m8
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Bravo! Beautiful song and performance Luzcypher. I also continue to try again here brother. God Bless you!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Yep that's my jam, excellent compisition , I have to admit it got me straight up interested !!!!! I might cover it soon :)
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Go for it!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Thanks :)
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
WOW! So cool to see the host doing his thing! i have to say that this was absolutely wonderful, really liked your song Lu! the message, and the performance, everything! so natural and "raw" as you say but that is what it makes it so cool if u ask me ... greetings !!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Que linda cancion!!! very good song!!! 💖
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
wow brother this is amazing, a hug !!!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
wow! very cosmic lyric!
i like a lot your guitar style
yeah! and the tune sounds very cool
not raw at all, i like it, the sound of the voice
awesome too :) congrats!
the song have the "mojo", the "joy" feeling for this guitar sound priceless!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Jajajajaja Woohoo! Bravo!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
¡Errrgaa! buenos bendings te lanzas y la melodía es muy buena.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit