This is the first song I ever wrote, almost ten years ago. I wrote it after the 2008 election, when we had a contested Senatorial election that went to a recount, and then to a court challenge to the recount, which meant that every unusual ballot got examined by a panel of state Supreme Court justices and the Secretary of State, and lawyers for both sides argued to get ballots counted for them and/or dismissed for the other guy, and all of this was streamed online. I found it strangely fascinating.

The most notable ballot in this process was one where the voter had initially marked for the Republican candidate, but then crossed it off and made a write-in vote for "Lizard People," which he had also voted for a bunch of times down-ballot. The Republicans tried to claim this ballot. I wrote a song about it.

Lyrics:

His military record isn't everything he said
He knew some bastards in the previous century
He'll break into your house and steal the butter off your bread
And set all of the serial rapists free.

Women should stay home and do their doilies up with lace
Atheists should pray we leave them free
And we don't have a place for a person of that race
Even if he talks like you and me.

So I am voting for the lizard people
I'm going to bring my pen and write them in
I don't know who I'd rather lead my country
Than a cold-blooded snake with scaly skin.

And no one can predict who the media anoint
It'll probably be the one who's most uncouth.
And I really have to say that it's getting to the point
Where I can't tell your lies from your other lies.

So I am voting for the lizard people
I'm going to bring my pen and write them in
I don't know who I'd rather lead my country
Than a cold-blooded snake with scaly skin.

But when I look down on the halls of Congress
I see a bunch of red and lots of blue
Well there's one thing that they all have in common
I see you voted for the lizard people too.

So we are voting for the lizard people
We're going to bring our pens and write them in
We don't know who we'd rather lead our country
Than a cold-blooded snake with scaly skin.