Strange night, after watching the Academy Awards, mostly out of boredom, looking for something to do, not tired, but went to bed. Oh, and that stupid time change.
Wide awake, so put on a movie. Tried to watch it. Even my dog, who usually sleeps on his dog bed beside my bed, was restless, kept moving around.
I had a sense that I really wanted to just chug a bottle of whiskey, which is also strange because I don't like whiskey, I'm a wine person. But, my friend, Mike, had left a bottle here, so I took a couple of swigs, and went back to bed. That didn't work either. I am still wide awake.
I was remembering every single thing that I hadn't really remembered for years, stuff that actually created who I am, some of the most hurtful and harmful and disappointing experiences I have had, especially during my formative years. And even almost shed some tears. but I didn't.
It's been like some kind of strange epiphany, crossing dimensions between being a hapless and helpless human to becoming something much more powerful, and finally being able to let go.
No one can hurt us if we refuse to let them.