2019 started with me mired in the swamp of sadness. Somewhere along the line I had buried a piece of myself that had essentially been backed into a corner, afraid of being exposed. I knew I had this identity for over two thirds of my life but I never really had a good way to express it. Writing is my passion, as is Dudeism, yet they only fulfill a small part of my life and I have not been able to dedicate enough time to either.
A friend of mine suggested that I could do something I have been following for many years; vlogging. YouTube was my subscription service of choice, but on hearing about the controversy over monetization, I wanted to get on something different. I found the perfect match in D.tube and by parentage Steemit, the encrypted blockchain service we are enjoying now. So I now invite you to get to know me as I get to know myself.
As for the part of me that right now is coiled in the corner, thinking there is a cage around it even though the bars fell long ago, I now realize are a vital part of me that should be nurtured and brought back to the surface. My childhood dreams of somehow changing my body from the human skin-suit I occupy into the version I always dreamed of, with broad wings and the reassuring balance of a tail. The face you see in my avatar is one I drew many times, trying to capture the piece of me that, by all evidence available, is nothing more than fabrication.
My adolescent years were spent pursuing a career, for the consequences of 2008 on my generation were financially devastating. I toured the midwest, took a walk with Lucy in the Sky and drew the picture I use as my avatar. I found the way of the Dude and connected immediately with his easy attitude and helpful nature, as well as the zen-like way he approaches life. I really needed that in my life.
I moved to the Pacific Northwest for a while, but the speed of the city is starting to get to me. Although the Dude was able to cope with his life out by the sea, I find myself craving the mountains once again. Therefore, it is time for a break to explore myself and get back to my roots. I've decided to return to my childhood hunting grounds, and see if this an environment in which I will thrive again.
I'll be posting Let's Plays and other things. Maybe I'll be able to eke out a living in the realm of cyberspace, where I can express that unseen self with freedom. Some are able to make a living off of it. I enjoy gaming quite a bit, and have knowledge in many interests, among them Minecraft and other streamable games. Will people want to watch? I know at least one, and that's enough for me.