So I guess ill begin by saying this is my story....
I was born in 1982 November 7th. I was born to a family that traveled for work and always looking for the next place that might be what my grandfather was looking for. My mother 17 unwed and single was not ready to have a family. We moved around quite often until my grandfather found a piece of land in montana. My grandparents bought a little bar in a small town there and my mother worked there as a bar tender. I would later come to realize that that time in my life would be some of the memories i would cherish later on in life....
My mother was always looking for someone that would cherish her as much as my grandfather did my grandmother. She always settled for abusive and drug addicted. As i grew older and understood more i would come to realize that those relationships werent about her finding love. They were about her finding someone to take care of her whether it was good or bad. Some of her boyfriends would start off nice and kind but they all ended the same way... With physical or emotional abuse. It wouldnt take long before she would say something they didnt like or id do something to irritate them and the beatings and insults would begin. In 1989 my mother met the man that would become my step father and the man that would shape the rest of my developmental years. And the man that would drive me to the military.
The first couple years were pretty good until my litzle sister was born. After that my life changed. I wasnt his son anymore i was the step child. I was the one that was thére to relieve his frustrations and beatings. I spent the next several years doing my best to stay out of his way. Never did manage to do that right either. I spent many nights hiding under the blankets or under the bed or in the closet hiding and praying god would free me from him. Then i turned 18 and enlisted in the Army. My prayers were answéred and i was free of him. Inspent the next several months throwing my life into my training. My sole focus was on being a better soldier. Becoming a machine that didnt feel or show emotion. I taught myself how to bury the shit deep down so no one knows if i am in pain or if i even feel anything. Then on 9/11/2001 my ebtire view on life and the world in general changed im a matter of moments. The rage i felt over the attacks on my country left me in a state of anger confusion pain fear and excitement!! I was 19 and going to war. I waschonna get my chance at pay back. Im not going to go into very many details regarding the events of my deployment. Ill leave my time over seas for another day. But whatni will say regarding that time is that i learned something about myself during that time. I learned i was really good at my job.