Foxboy's Reward System

Foxboy is really into video games, and lately that means Roblox.

How does a five year old boy get video game time? Some families don't allow their children any video game time. Others get unlimited. Foxboy has a star bank. For doing things that help his family, he earns stars. Sometimes this means getting his lunch together, helping me get my medicine, helping @foxe get settled after work, keeping his room clean, doing his bedtime routine, or anything we for which we want to award him a star. It is all tracked on the family whiteboard.

There is a price list next to the star bank showing what he can buy. There are things like candy (very small quantities), screen time, having friends over, etc. He usually goes for screen time and manages to earn about an hour of it every day. We've noticed during growth spurts he has a really hard time earning that much. Basically, a self-balancing system for us.

Image from FGTeeV YouTube Channel

In the beginning of the star system, he always wanted "TV". We don't have cable, so TV usually means YouTube. He found FGTeeV (Family Gaming TV) and got pretty hooked. If you have kids and haven't seen it, definitely check it out. It is a family in the eastern USA that plays various games on PC, WiiU and iPad. They seem to have a lot of fun, and it exposes foxboy to some good games. Sometimes the episodes are a little too scary for him, and he doesn't want to play those games. FGTeeV Duddy is a little energetic for my taste and way over-edits the videos.... but it isn't for me. Foxboy loves it.

As he spent time watching FGTeeV, he started wanting to play video games more. He has a select few he is allowed to play. Right now, that's Minecraft, Roblox, Slither.io, and Limax.io. When he cashes in his stars, we set a timer for how long he can play. When it beeps, game time is over. No bonus minutes or "but I was just"... nope. Over.

Stars are also used to pay fines when he does a bad job. Foxe is happy to join in my hippie-ness; we don't hit foxboy in any fashion, and we don't tell him he's a bad boy or bad child. He can't spend his stars until he has completed his preschool for the day. This works well for our family, but I would re-evaluate if it wasn't working. There was one tweak pretty early in - spending stars is at our discretion. If he isn't handling things well, he needs a little more calm than he gets from screen time.

It brings a smile to my face to see him growing more and more autonomous. Teaching him to make good decisions is what parenting is all about for me.

Maybe next time, you'll a hear a little bit about his meditation practice and how we started that.

Mantra for today:

Everything is temporary - good and bad. Enjoy the good while you can. Be patient with the bad

Y'all have good

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rishi556 (62) · 7 years ago

Thats a great way to do it. Good on you for thinking up of that. It sounds works very well.

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nikema (51) · 7 years ago

My unschooled kids are obsessed with Roblox, YouTube, and Minecraft. We fit into the category of unlimited screen time but I'm thinking about putting limits on. Some people start to act like jerks when they spend too much time on the computer and I'm noticing some bad words/habits getting picked up.

I'm thinking about implementing a system like yours. It seems fair and we can put some self-care and family contribution on the list.

foxon (53) · 7 years ago

I love unschooling! Foxboy will probably attend public school, but we do a lot of educating at home. Honestly, I'm only planning to send him to school so I can teach him to deal with that kind of BS, lol
I like the system we have because it is self-balancing, and teaches him that he limits his own freedom when he is careless toward others. It's not punishment, and nobody is angry with him. He just hasn't worked WITH his family enough to take from the reward pool (lil steem reference there).