At risk of repeating what others have said, I do think it's a matter of thinking about your partner's needs, and your child's needs, and filling in where you see gaps.

I've found a lot of good in formulas and lists and so forth, but they're also far too broad to capture the range of human experience. Thinking about what given formulas have to offer, but not allowing your experience and method of parenting to become simplistic is important.