Am I Doing The Right Thing for My Kids or I'm Pushing Them Away From Me?

Am I Teaching My Kids To Be a Better Person or I am Driving Them Away From Me?   

The love of the parents is the supreme level of love and it’s a reality that nobody can argue with. The moment a child started to form in the mother’s womb, it brings so much happiness, a happiness that nobody could express (Sorry but singles don’t have the idea of this kind of feeling). It brings so much excitement and joy to the parents especially the mother itself. They treasured every development and its transformation, they don’t want to miss any details, they wanted to know and make sure the child is always in good condition. It cannot be compared to a love from a husband, brother, sisters, friends and family members. It’s just simply an ultimate love, an unconditional love that waits no return.    

Parents are starting to buy things in preparation for its birth and existence. Moving around from different stores securing things that might be good for their child, buying clothes, shoes, feeding tools such as milk bottle, spoon & fork and other things which are important for the child’s growth. They wanted to do this because it makes them happy it’s just makes them happy, assuring that all things should be must prepared for them to have a good life.    

Parent’s joy could not be measured the moment the child that they’ve been taking care of for 9 months inside the mother’s womb will finally goes out to the world. Watching the baby’s face while sleeping and yawning whispering, “baby I want you to become a …” I want you to be a good person and we will be your guide all the way until the end of our lives. This desire of the parents will always stay inside their hearts and mine, making sure that it will be realize because they wanted their child to have a good future.    

As the child started to grow and learn things, they’re there to guide and make decisions that they think might be helpful in building the good foundation. Teaching knowledge, send them to schools hoping to gain advancement that will guide them through all the days of their life.      

Teenage Life 

Reaching at this stage of life, the child turns into a kid and start to gain lots of knowledge. Teenage life starts the moment a child reaches 10 years of age. At this moment the child is no more a child, it starts to express what they wanted to have and sometimes or most of the time it will not be in line with what the parents want and will start to create discussions of why. There are even times that they do things that parents don’t like.   

The kids started to gain friends from schools and neighborhood which has a direct influence to their growth. This makes all the parents worried because most of the time they don’t know who are the friends of the kid. They are afraid that this might lead their kids towards the wrong direction, opposite to what they are to achieve.   

As they grow and gain years of little experiences, their desires starts to turn bold which sometimes brings to an argument because the parents could not understand the situation. This phase of the kid’s growth is very important and risky because a simple mistake might lead to something unwanted.     

This Happens To Me and My Kids 

I have 3 kids, 6, 14 & 16 years old all boys. I love them so much no question to that but I have a problem handling them (not the 6 yr old). I wanted to guide them because I wanted them to become a good person and achieve their goals in life. But for some reason, this desire makes me a very strict parent, I’ve become more of a dictator to them. I know this is not right and there are lots of times that I just hide and cried because I know that I hurt the emotion of my kids, and sometimes hurt them physically.  

 

This is very wrong this is not what I wanted for my kids. My parents taught me well but what happen to my kids? Am I driving them away from me? This is what I’m feeling right now especially towards my eldest son because he has this unpleasant way of talking to his mother which makes me angry all the time because I don’t like a kid who open its mouth unpleasantly towards its parents. We don’t talk to much like before anymore due to the gap that I built for myself. I think they are afraid of me because every time they wanted to say something, I always reacted in an unfriendly manner.   

I wanted to escape from this feeling but I could not help myself because every time they do things that I don’t like, it makes me angry, things that I always told them not to do. The thing that I hated most is the attitude of being lazy, I want to teach them not to be lazy because it will not help them in achieving their dreams. But even so, they still show laziness especially doing the assigned house chores instead they spent so much time playing computer games and most of the time goes with classmates and go around the city or go somewhere else.   

What could be the possible reason for this? Am I a bad parents? Is there something wrong with me or in the rules that I am using to them?     

These are the issues I have with my kids that I wanted to have answers on how to handle it;

• Unpleasant tone of voice in talking 
• Always play computer games 
• Always goes out with friends and classmates 
• Refuse to do house chores 
• When asking something, they won’t accept refusal   

I’m not writing this to gain attention, I need guidance because I don’t want to lose my kids or drive them away from me. This is a parent desire and this is my desire.   Comments and suggestions are highly appreciated, I needed it. I admit I have so much to learn as a parent.