image source
I am posting about my personal experiences as a child and that of a parent.
- I have an expectation that comments will respectful.
- While I do not intent to flag comments, any person who attacks or has malicious statements will muted and possibly unfollowed.
- All opinions, including my own, are subjective so be objective about another person's point of view.
As I've stated earlier, I am aware how controversial this topic is. Most people only see the black & white of it and rarely the gray areas. I'm going to start off by saying that I do condone corporal punishment solely based on my experiences and attitude as a child, and how I incorporated what I learned from my youth into parenthood.
'John, go deal with your children.'
Mom never had a problem spanking us. She didn't often use the belt, but more like whatever was in her possession at the time: pot, giant wood spoon wall decorations, broom, book...
More often than not, she would say, "Wait 'til your father comes home," and after commuting and working a long day, he'd come home to my stressed-out mother and beat the offending child.
That's just the way it was.
In truth, if we were going to get hit, I preferred my father's belt over my mother's furious pounding. I suspect she was taking her rage and frustration out on me and when she hit, she was out of control whereas dad was...measured.
As a young adult, before I had kids of my own, my father and I often sat at the kitchen table having great conversations. One night he'd had a bit too much to drink and out of nowhere started talking about the mistakes he made being a father. You see, his own mother died when he was three. His father died when he was 11. His grandmother and stepmother raised him. He had no real male figure to guide him. Add the fact that he was only 21 when he became a father. He was just a kid, right? What the hell did he know about parenting?
He admitted that he took parenting advice from some of his Army buddies. They all agreed: Spare the rod, spoil the child. They were parents so they must know what they're talking about. So that's what he did.
Dad admitted the few memories of his own father were bad ones. In fact, called him an asshole piece of shit.
I told him truthfully: I was never mad about my punishment. I never hated him because of it.
In my perspective, I suffered the consequences of my actions. Cause and Effect. There were times when I got hit for something I didn't do, often taking ownership of my siblings' infractions, but that was a means to a way. I was pretty tyrannical because most of the time I played "parent" and didn't have the freedom to just go out and play. One might say there was a little resentment there.
But I digress.
Lessons I'd learned from corporal punishment
There were healthy lessons in my experiences under a heavy hand.
Dad didn't beat us for the sake of beating us. There was always a reason and a lesson to be learned from it. While some people may be offended by the following, please note that everything I know about love I learned from my dad. Everything I know about being fair, having an open mind, accepting people as they are came from my dad. I would never vilify him, but what I'm about to share may seem harsh. I don't see it that way.
The truth might hurt, but lying hurts more.
My family was kind of poor and one thing that busted the budget was the fact that I needed glasses. I wasn't used to wearing them full time so I had a nice carry case and only put my glasses on when I needed to see distance items like the chalk board.
Well, it was spring time and we were going to Girl Scout Camp. I'd brought my brand new glasses with me...and lost them at camp. For fear of being punished, I didn't tell my parents...and my grades suffered for it. On occasion, my parents asked me about my glasses but I told them I only needed them for the board. I didn't admit that I had lost them. But then one day about a month later, my father wanted to see my glasses. The jig was up and I was in a position where I had to tell him they were long gone.
He was furious! Expensive new glasses. Lost within a week of getting them. Didn't tell anyone for a month.
He doled out the only harshest punishment he could think of.
"Go get my belt." So I did.
"You're grounded for 30 days and gonna get a belt for every day you lied."
And that was it. I understood that it wasn't losing an expensive item that got me in trouble. It was the fact that I didn't fess up. I accepted my punishment and got 30 lashings.
Yeah, that shit hurt but by the time he was done, I was numb and he was crying. I don't even remember if I got all 30, but when he was finally done he didn't say a word and went back downstairs.
I was black and blue from the bottom of my back to the backs of my knees, but I didn't hate him for it. To me, it was just.
That was when I truly understood that lying hurt - a lot. And blatant omission of the truth also meant lying. In my head, it was a way to physically associate the pain of lying - and being lied to. Kind of like sticking a screwdriver into an electric outlet and getting zapped. I only had to do it once before I learned it was a bad thing.
About 20 days into being grounded and it was hot outside. I kept occupied in my room while everyone was outside swimming and playing.
Dad called upstairs. "Meredith, I think you've been grounded long enough. Get your suit on and go out and play."
I didn't want to because I still had visible bruises on my legs. I knew if I wore my swimsuit then everyone would see them. I didn't want dad to see them.
"It's okay, dad. I'm reading."
He insisted and there was no arguing...and I really did want to go swimming. Our attic bedroom, which I shared with my two sisters, was very hot.
Covered up as best as I could with a towel, I headed out the door. Dad stopped me. His eyes wide and jaw dropped a little.
"I did that to you."
It wasn't a question. I think he was talking more to himself. I tried to cover up and hide the ugly truth from him but I couldn't.
I told him it was okay and that they didn't hurt.
"No. That's not okay. It's never gonna happen again."
That was the last time my father took a belt to me.
I fessed up
Then there was that time when I was in the storage shed where dad kept all his tools. I was trying to get something in the loft but in order to do so, I had to navigate the tall, heavy ladder. I did a bang up job of it...and broke the light fixture in the process. As I stared at the broken glass, I just knew I was going to get a beating. So I cleaned up the glass and took a moment to gird my loins before heading into the house to face my father.
"Dad? I accidentally broke the light in the shed. I was trying to move the ladder and hit it. I cleaned up the glass. I'm sorry."
His bushy eyebrows furrowed as he gazed at me. I wondered how many belts I was going to get for it.
To my surprise he asked me if I was okay and if I had cut myself on the glass.
When he got up I knew this was it. sigh But he surprised me again. "Well, let's go see what kind of damage you did."
I know I stood there for a moment. "Should I get the belt?" Yeah, dumbass - why don't you volunteer for an ass-whoopin'?.
His response was crystal clear. "I can't punish you if you tell the truth. If you lied about it and I found out... Do you understand?"
Got it, dad. Telling the truth might be uncomfortable, but lying really sucks.
How far could I go without getting hit?
Being spanked, belted, and occasionally whacked upside the head, I learned pretty early on what would set my parents off. In my house we had rules and laws. Rules could be bent sometimes, but if you broke a house law, BOOM.
LAWS: A child shall not...
- embarrass one's family in public - EVER.
- disrespect one's parents or the elderly.
- start fights. (But we were also taught if anyone started a fight with us, we had their permission to finish it.)
- lie, cheat, or steal.
Be on your best behavior. Be polite. Be courteous and helpful. Follow directions.
Those are reasonable expectations from your child. But if we didn't live up to those laws, you can believe there was hell to pay.
Kids will always push the boundaries. I did. My kids did.
We weren't hit for every infraction but we also geared our behavior to avoid the belt...most of the time.
Corporal punishment on my kids
We are all shaped by our experiences with the free will to choose what and what not to do. Being the mother of three boys has its challenges. Before I became pregnant, I just knew what motherhood was all about. I swore I would never hit my kids. Then they were old enough to get into everything and say 'NO' to me.
Something in my brain clicked. These kids have to know what the consequences are. But I didn't haul off and hit them like a crazy woman. I had ground rules.
- I will never spank when I'm out of control and too angry.
- I will not use anything other than my hand.
No help from the husband
My husband at the time was, at best, a part time dad. He worked, slept, and was often too busy screwing other people to help raise the boys or support me in any way. His time with the boys was always fun time and to hell with sleep schedules, nighttime snacks, or general rough-housing inside.
But keeping my father in mind, I self-imposed a rule to punish at the moment and not wait until their father came home because, quite honestly, I think that is unfair.
If you miss your family because you've been at work all day, and all's quiet when you come home, why should you have to be the bad guy? My mother was good for that. I was not going to be like my mother.
Dealing with 3 different personalities
My kids are completely different so their punishment was not the same across the board.
Did spanking really work with my kids?
This is debatable. Being that they are completely different personalities, I've got mixed results.
Spanking was effective on my oldest child, but I can count how many times he was actually spanked by me on one hand. At the time I had suspicions that he might be on the autism scale...much like me, but internet wasn't prevalent and everyone thought I was crazy for trying to say something was wrong with him.
That's a whole other topic.
Anyway - my point is - it only took one whack on the butt for him to realize doing X meant Y would happen. It sunk into his head very easily because it was black and white, and that's how he processes things - with very defined lines.
My youngest child was always a natural pleaser. I never really had problems with him. In fact, if I was angry or upset about something, he was there like a cat wanting me to scratch his back or rub his feet. A regular deferment genius, I tell ya!
But my middle child... Oh yes... My middle child... He crossed those very defined lines that I established with my oldest and got a whack and sent to his room. But then he'd proceed to piss on his brother's bed because he was mad. It took a while to get it through my head that spanking didn't work on him. He upped the ante on how bad he could be. I never resorted to the belt because I imagine he's probably piss on MY bed or set the curtains on fire. Naw, not really...but maybe?
The most effective punishment for him was obviously not spanking. I've actually had to take his computer apart and he earned the parts back one at a time... with good behavior. Sometimes that took a really, really long time
But here's my deal. I do believe spanking is an appropriate tool in a parent's arsenal because it's a very visceral lesson in cause and effect for toddlers. They understand OUCH. But if you spank when you're angry then there is a risk of being out of control, flirting with outright abuse.
We turned out all right
Some perspectives may view my childhood experiences as abuse. I've never seen it that way. I'm not broken. In fact, I would say that I'm a stronger person because I took the punishment and used a positive mindset to steer my life.
I don't hold any grudges against my parents and I would never say that I'm a 'victim' of my childhood because I got belted...even when I was black and blue.
My kids are grown now and they're all right too. In fact, I'd say they were more well-adjusted than a lot of their friends because I held firm and sometimes had to give them a whack with a steady hand and set boundaries. They learned about consequences. It was my duty raising them to understand that sometimes shit goes bad; sometimes it hurts. You have to take the lesson and make adjustments or stay on the hamster wheel and keep getting in trouble.
I'm pleased to say that my kids can talk to me about anything...and boy, have they! From girls, to drinking and smoking pot, problems with their job, a friend, or just calling to say they love me.
And you know what? We all survived each other and venture into this world armed with lessons that may have been beat into us, but we can tackle any obstacle. And we're all okay.
Three generations of my family taking a traditional group photo.
Do you have your own story of parenting, childhood and how discipline played a factor? Use the hashtag #idea-bank started by @phoenixmaid as a way to generate writing ideas should you hit writer's block.
Wall of #Steemit love:
This awesome name in peppers was created by @papa-pepper: 
And @poeticsnake graced me with her beautiful artwork!
If you like my content, please consider upvoting and visiting my other articles. Your comments are always appreciated.
Meredith Loughran blogs at ScribblingBandits.com | Follow her on Twitter & SnapChat or LinkedIn
Hello @merej99,
It gives us pleasure to inform you that you have been chosen as a featured author by the @robinhoodwhale initiative.
Learn more about the Robinhood Whale here!
We hope to see you continuing to post some great stuff on Steemit!
Good luck!
~RHW~
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
SQUEEEEEEE!!!!
Thank you guys! Holy WOW - look at that vote count!
Thank you
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Well @robinhoodwhale is a very BIG fish ..a...sorry whale in the Steemit pound!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
@robinhoodwhale About time I was wondering when you guys would find mere? Serious question how do we recommend writers to your team?
ps, you should look at @charlotteblacker
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Oh, I'll have to check her out too. Thanks for the recommendation, Sarah!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
I was flat out abused as a child. I do not mean getting spanked, or yelled at. My dad, beat me with the buckle end of the belt, put out cigarettes on my arms and back, and when I got bigger graduated to punching and kicking. My dad was abused when he was child and to him that is just what you did to discipline a child. Of course, breathing too loudly in the same room as him constituted being unruly. The cycle of abuse is the hardest thing to break. I now have a son who is strong-willed and I've popped him on the butt once. After everything cooled down, I apologized to him, and he apologized to me for yelling and not doing what he was told. We have since then worked together to get things done. He gets a little lippy at times, but now all it takes is a look to get him back on track. It's tough, but slog through it, and keep communication with them going. Them learning how to negotiate like adults, will help them better than a paddling.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Although I wasn't abused as a child, I was spanked and whipped with a belt or switch. I think I remember most of them. I can remember one I got when I was three for crying and waking up my dad. I especially remember the ones I felt were unjustified. I rarely spanked my kids, but I regret the times I did. I don't think corporal punishment is ever justified. When you use it, I believe you are admitting that you have failed as a parent. As far as I know, my daughter has never spanked any of her kids, and they have turned out great.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Yes, I remember getting some whacks that I felt were unjustified too...and that's when attitude reared its ugly head because I was like Wait - how is that fair? I think it's shaped my attitude in taking ownership of my actions, mistakes and all - and a big part of why I always root for the underdog.
Even though my youngest is 18 now, there are times when I feel like I've failed as a parent...but never because I disciplined the way I did. I don't remember exactly when I cut the umbilical cord and released myself from the responsibility of their choices.
They know they can turn to me any time they need me but they also know I won't allow them to put blame on me either. I did the best that I could and one lesson I instilled in them was: If you do your best, make your best effort, then never take ownership of someone else's disappointment.
I guess my point is, I had to find some way to reach my kids and be an example of love and discipline (among other things...all the things...) and sometimes the fastest way was a good old fashioned whack on the butt.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Thank you for sharing your story @eric-the-red
Breaking the cycle is definitely hard because oftentimes we don't have the resources to see what's beyond "the normal". Kids are tough creatures and they'll test every button, won't they?
As my kids got older the silent treatment worked a lot better than yelling or smacking.
I'm a yeller. LOL After a while my kids became immune because they knew I was blowing off steam, but if I got really quiet they knew they were in trouble.
Thank you for taking the time to stop by and comment :)
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
No problem! I'm glad you shared your experiences as well!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Hello @merej99 !
I am not a parent and I will not claim to be one!
Your post is a very good one but let me tell you this:
Somethimes like you wrote is perfect : I've actually had to take his computer apart and he earned the parts back one at a time... with good behavior.
You can never know what your child will become....I mean I saw so many cases of child abuse and molestation and the child..who had become an adult he turned into a monster, criminal...or just committed suicide.
We as parents or future parents can teach our children how to act...
Like.. From their first years they mimic a parent and start to act like us in many casess .
Some people don't see this and they think it is a good thing.
Well, depends on your point of view... A child mimics a parent ...he mimics the good but olso the bad...the more bad the more he will mimic until this it will become his personality as a adult human being.
Again I canot say that is good or that is bag to spank a child ...All I can say is that we are directly responsible of our child development.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
You are so right about how we mimic. I was assessed with Asperger's as an adult. The only way I could really learn how to assimilate with my surroundings was mimicking until it felt natural. I've had many college friends who finally got out of their parents' oppressive thumb and got wild and destructive? WHY? I can't speak for them, but my impression is that they never had the freedom to screw up and figure out, or be taught in a safe environment, that sometimes mistakes hurt.
I also have many peers who were terribly abused and they turned to drugs, alcohol and promiscuous behavior. They did everything they could to get away from their parents and ended up marrying the same type of person. Cycles
As @eric-the-red mentioned, breaking the cycle is hard - but we have to be objective enough in our life experiences to take the good, reject the bad, and forge a path.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment, @cynetyc
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
The candor with which you wrote was personally very refreshing to me.
At one point in your story I found that tears were forming in my eyes as I recalled my own childhood and the lessons I personally learned as my wife and I struggled to raise five moral human beings.
I think, partly, my tears started flowing because of the honesty with which you approached this article. You just laid all this out in the sun for the community (a lot of them, voluntaryist who are completely against spanking in any form) to inspect and had that "let the chips fall where they may" mindset. Much respect! btw, I'm your new follower.
Your article made me come to terms with my own failure to just be who I am on Steemit (in the area of child rearing). I've been silent in my position of parenting for fear of reprisal from a, largely, anarchist community. I too spanked (or what anarchists call "initiate force" upon another individual (my kids) who did not physically harm or threaten to harm me). But I was ALWAYS in control...always instructive....always compassionate to their weaknesses and frailties as human beings and, more importantly, always loving. I never grounded any of my kids. Once the spanking was over, they KNEW their consciences were ABSOLUTELY CLEAR. No one was ever mad or left to wonder if there was more. The wrong was clearly explained (even as very young kids, they started to understand. My voice was always kind...I NEVER yelled at them, cause I remember the voice of my dad and how it would just get on my nerves as he just talked and talked in his anger.
But my motive in spanking, as I see was yours was as well, was to instill a DEEP respect and honor for all things RIGHT and good! A LOT of people would see inflicting pain on someone as counter intuitive, and, I guess it kinda is. They see it as "teaching a person to hit by example." But I can tell you that my children, now grown (the oldest is 21), are some of the most polite, respectful, fun, socially adjusted, liberty-loving, peaceful people you'd ever wanna meet.
From the first day that I held my firstborn's little bitty hand in mine, I vowed that I would NEVER ever treat this child like my dad and mom treated me (with uncontrolled punishments that could have really physically damaged me and my brothers and left us with no sense of "we really deserved that." I would always be fair, and they would never have to guess what right and wrong were. I would be their trusted guide and their most loyal friend.
Your article was very very good @merej99! It cut straight to my heart! Thank you!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Thank you for sharing your experiences too. It really moved me as I could see the similarities. My boys are 18, 20 and 21. Like yours, they are polite - in fact, I used to get calls all the time about how wonderful and helpful my boys were when they visited a friends house. Most of the time I would think Are you talking about MY kid??? or "Why can't I have my good kids sometimes?* LOL
But it's a testament that we didn't screw up too badly. I don't deny there are severe abuses of parental authority. I stayed controlled because I did not want to be my mother. And my kids are not damaged and neither am I.
Thank you for taking the time to stop by. It really does mean a lot to me. And thanks for the follow too! <3
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Whoops, one last comment.
Once I stopped thinking of my boys as kids and starting thinking about them as young men, the barriers went down a little with permission on all sides to consider one another, a peer. They don't get to call me Meredith. I'll always be mom, but they know I'm there as their loyal friend and trusted guide. They fully graduate when they become parents. lol
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Awesome response. Sounds like you're a great mom! Nice to make your acquaintance Meredith! I'm excited to read more of your content!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Kids are either developed enough to understand reason, or they're not. Young children, toddlers and such, don't grasp abstract concepts like right and wrong. Rather, they seek to please the self-evident caregivers in their lives. Spanking toddlers does not communicate anything to them other than their caregiver is inflicting physical pain on them; they lack the mental capacity to establish a causal link between behavior and consequence.
Children who are old enough to establish that link are also old enough to understand that there are bad actions and good actions. As such, spanking is wholly unnecessary. If you can't communicate why something is good or bad, or why they should or shouldn't do certain things, then the solution is to find another way to explain it and use different disciplinary measures. Corporal punishment is, at best, redundant, and, at worst, abusive.
I'd also like to point out that using violence (and spanking is physical violence, no matter what euphemisms someone tries to dress it up with) is never moral against individuals for the purpose of behavior modification. The only time one can justify using physical violence is in defense of person or property, and even then, if there is another method that can de-escalate the situation without violence, then violence is completely unnecessary. I've had to physical remove my daughter from various rooms in our house a number of times, but I haven't escalated the situation by using any more physical force than was absolutely necessary to keep her from harming herself or destroying things.
If spanking is acceptable, then you shouldn't have to reiterate that you turned out fine. The only time people "turn out fine" is when they suffer some kind of adversity or problem and eventually overcome it. If you "turned out fine," you're admitting that spanking is a net negative act to suffer through.
I wish you the best of luck in raising your kids, and I hope my comment was informative in some way :)
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
This is a great, @anarcho-andrei Thank you for your thoughtful comment. My youngest is now 18 and I'm done raising them using the only parent manual I had (my personal experiences), taking or rejecting the lessons of my parents. Would you agree that life is full of adversity to which we overcome many obstacles? So, yes, we turned out fine. :)
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
This seems reasonably thought out. Can you share about your experiences with your kids and how this has worked for you?
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Hey, your name in peppers!!!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
I love my name in peppers! But I'm still not doing your hot pepper challenge. LOL
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
@merej99 4 president! :D Loved the story as well as the writing. You seem like a great influence to many who need a positive leader. I am happy to vote and support this content.
Many prayers,
Christopher Ryan Butler
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Thank you @cristoryan!
I once heard someone say there are three sides to every story: theirs, mine and the truth. But if we stay as objective as possible, it's about as close to the truth as we can get in order to be true historians of our experiences.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Punishment is one this but a brutal beating just to please my fathers temper and lust for humiliating me was something I couldn't get over quickly. well done you for facing it head on
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
I do remember reading your story, @karenb54 It is heartbreaking and your dad is reaping the consequences of his actions. I don't think I would be getting over that kind of abuse. It took me about 3 years to get over the turmoil my ex-husband put me through!
HUGS
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
I know I will never get an apology as he doesn't think he's done anything wrong. :)
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Personally, I think there are time and situations where it's appropriate and where it's not. And for me, that is when they have done something dangerous.ie running into the road, a short sharp shock is nothing in comparison to being run over by a car.,but something like back chat (aka exerting their right to freedom of speech) is not something that I would spank my kids for ( after all they are still learning how to communicate)
Often we hold our children to a much higher standard than we hold the adults around us to. I feel it's my job to teach my children, how to stand their ground respectfully through example, by teaching them how to put forward a reasoned and logical argument to support themselves. so spanking would undermine that I'm not saying my kids are angels (anyone who does is deluding themselves) but I don't expect perfection from the adults in my life so why should I expect it from the children?
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
I had actually reacted completely opposite to what you said when my kids ran too close to the busy road. I swooped them up and hugged them so close -- and told them they could have been squished like bugs (because they knew what squished bugs looked like). But back talking? Nope. Not tolerated. Not if they were being completely disrespectful or calling me names if they were mad about something. Now that I think about it, I may have told them that I don't care how they cuss or sass each other or their friends, but I drew the line for how they were going to talk to me. My kids never got spanked for accidents like broken plates or spilling food or anything like that. But my oldest once broke a glass out of spite because he was angry with me. Just picked it up and threw it. That got 3 spanks on the butt. And I showed him my boo-boo from getting pricked with a thin shard and told him that could have been in his foot. We don't throw breakables! I've also told them if they're angry to go jump on their beds. Hmm. Yeah, that was okay in my house. Maybe I'm just strange?
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Great post, thank you for sharing!
On a related note, this post has inspired me to get to work on the blog ive been thinking about lately on how to balance letting kids take physical risks that might seem a little dangerous (on certain playground toys, for example) with keeping them safe and not being a total nag/killjoy. Happy to see more parenting content here and also love how all the comments seem to be in support of NOT hitting your kids, much more progressive mindset than on most message-boards!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Ooh! So glad to inspire a post. Please be sure to post your link so we can all visit and read.
And I am so happy that the comments have been opinionated but respectful. If you've been on the other boards, you know exactly how inflamed comments can get. It's one of the many things I love about Steemit
Thank you for stopping by. I'll be sure to check out your content as well. :)
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Yes, it's definitely a much less hostile environment than most other places! Good thing too because who needs all that drama after a day with the kids??
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Thanks for sharing this. It took some guts, and I totally see why you had the caveat at the beginning. When I saw that, I thought, "This is gonna be good". I wasn't disappointed. :)
It took us a long time to develop our discipline practices. The boys were teenagers before I really understood the difference between discipline and punishment. Once I did, I never spanked again. Of course, they were too old, or I might have.
When we punish, it's retribution. We're focused on making them pay, which is often focused on ourselves. When we discipline, we're focused on benefiting our children. It's a game changer.
Kudos for understanding that there is no place for anger in discipline. I did like my parents did during the boys' early years, taking my anger out on them sometimes. I was measured and not brutal. But it's almost impossible to express love in the midst of anger.
They're doing a better job in this area than I did, by far. Thank God.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
This is written with such care. I seem unable to form a greater response right now. I wanted to say I've read and am thinking about this. I am also happy your father clarified the difference between punishing for a mistake versus punishing for a lie.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit