Parenting: What the Hell Am I Doing?

It's 7:20am - we need to be out of the house and on the road by 7:30am to get everyone to daycare/school on time. She decides that today will be the day that her long sleeve bear/camping shirt is not gonna suffice for the next 8 hours at daycare. And so begins the battle with a 2.5 yr old independent toddler... her face turning redder by the second as she crosses her arms and starts tearing up with anger about this shirt wearing debacle.

I also have a 15 year old son - easy going, hormones starting to rage, but otherwise, the calm one out of us all. I raised him to have a choice in his upbringing - ok, you don't want to brush your teeth? well we have 2 options - not brush and go see the dentist or brush and we will all live happily ever after. Needless to say, he always chose the right option - he must take after his mother for this trait.

But with my 2.5 yr old daughter, the concept of choices and her temperament is something I am trying to figure out. She is fiercely independent - wants to build her own high towers, insists on putting on her own socks and shoes, etc. I keep saying to myself, "you have to let her thrive, you have to let her grow in the direction she is taking, whether she needs me to assist her or not"

So at 7:20am this morning, we both look at one another through her teary eyes and toast covered face and agree to disagree. At the time, I could have glued the shirt to her back to insist it staying on but I was happy to see her so passionate and opinionated about something so small as what she wanted to wear. And so lays the bear/camping shirt on the kitchen floor...