Eastern and Western Parenting Style

Have you ever wondered how different would your life be if you were born to an opposite side of the world? There are many differences in Eastern and Western parenting style. Parents all have their own ways to instruct their children, but since there are too many parenting styles in the world, I will just be focusing Chinese and American parenting style.

Before a child has the ability to take care of himself, they depend on their parents (food, money, supplies, and shelters). So that is why your parents play a big role in influencing their children. However, no matter what methods parents use to teach their children: all parents have a common goal: to do what is best for their child.

Parenting Styles

Most Chinese parenting styles are strict and harsh, often consisting more of criticism than praise. Chinese parents are famous for authoritarian parenting, the full authority of their children. “The fact that Chinese parents are good at raising stereotypically successful kids, as they are a strict parenting style, and always control what their children do” (China Daily, 2013). An authoritarian parenting style results in a lack of freedom; in other words, their entire life plan is mapped to them early on. They have to be excellent at every school subjects and do even better with their extra-curricular activities. This may help the child succeed in the future; however, this will likely kill the child’s interest in specific subjects. They cannot do what they want to do or what they like because Chinese parents tend to treat their children like robots.

Another con about Chinese parents is that “they will do anything they can for their children instead of encouraging them to be independent” (China Daily, 2013). Chinese parents believe that their good intentions are always best for their children, thinking that their children do not have sufficient experience to make their own decisions. Besides, Chinese parents are over-protective; they will not let their children play by themselves or do anything that they think is dangerous. Chinese parents tend to have high expectations for their children, and this displayed through questions like, “you didn’t get an A?” or “you didn’t get first place?” Every Chinese parent wants their children to be the best; as a result, they push them to be the best.

Another reason why Chinese parents push their children so hard is that they want their children to bring honor to the family so that their reputation is not harmed in front of other families. American parenting styles are more encouraging and unrestricted. “American parents and teachers use more compliments and encouragement, to help a child develop, which is the total opposite for Chinese parents” (China Daily, 2013). “A Chinese mother never says things like, "Congratulations", or, "I am proud of you", but an American father says things like, "Good job, honey"” (China Daily, 2013). Different from Chinese parents, American parents will not mainly use criticism to teach their children. Instead, they will use more encouragement, like “it is okay son, you have tried.” However, this does not mean that an American parenting style is better than a Chinese parenting style because more freedom can spoil their children.

While Chinese parents think that their children should be dependent, American parents think that their kids should be independent. American parents let their children do what they want, giving them freedom. If they encounter a mistake, they will learn from it. An over-protective Chinese parenting style results in children’s inability to accomplish certain tasks.

The Pros and Cons

There are Pros and Cons about each parenting styles. Chinese parents are strict, they are capable of leading their children in the right direction towards success. After all, people say, “It is the bridle and spur that makes a good horse.” This quote applies to Chinese parents because they keep pushing their children to become the best. However, a strict parenting style may lead to children’s rebellious attitudes. The child might not be able to stand the strict parenting style of their parents, and over time, may result in their rebellion against their parents. The other side of Chinese parenting might benefit the child’s future, as well as their family honor; however, it might exhaust or make the child unhappy as he is trying to fulfill his parents’ expectations. Asian parents are strong believers in the idea that “children are supposed to sacrifice their own desires for the benefit of the family” (Chang, 2007).

Here is an example of a Chinese parenting style, “Li Xiaomei's daughter, who was born in China and grew up in the US, was slapped on the face by her father when she refused to change her clothes. Li's husband thought her then 13-year-old daughter's clothes were too revealing for her age and asked her to change into the clothes they bought her in China. She said no and added that he had no right to slap her” (China Daily, 2013). In this example, we can see that if parents are too strict, their children may disobey their parents.

On the other hand, American parents are free, letting their children choose what they want. People say, “Reward is a boon education.” This quote applies to American parents, as they also encourage their children to try their best. However, American parents sometimes give their children too much freedom causing them to take the wrong path. For example, their child may have bad friends that influence them to do bad things. Here is an example of an American parenting style: Peter’s parents give Peter a lot of freedom, and they let him do anything he wants. Peter’s parents do not scold him even when he does something wrong. As Peter grows older, Peter begins to not listen to his parents’ requests. In this example, we can see that too much freedom may spoil their children.

Common Ground

Chinese parenting styles and American parenting styles are so different from each other that we can simply say they are opposites. They each have their own pros and cons; however, they do share a common goal. Both Chinese parents and American parents want what is best for their children. Chinese parents want their children to have a bright future while American parents want their children to be happy. No parents want their own child to fail and that is why each parent has their own way to teach their children. All parenting styles have a big impact on their children; it influences them as they grow.

I know there are many other parenting styles in different places, but due to my limitation, I am only writing on Chinese and American parenting styles. Each parenting styles have their own purpose and outcome, thus, they all have their pros and cons. Each parenting style has its own purpose, as parents want their children to succeed in the future. People might have their own methods to teach their children, but they all aim at the same goal – wishing what is best for their children.

Let me know below what you think about different parenting styles :)