I have always been criticized for all the choices I made in my life like my conscious decision not to follow the trend of bleaching my skin, putting on make ups, actively seeking boyfriends and whatever people around me considered as important. Maybe I will not be writing this post if I feel that I have homogeneous opinion but since I live in another "world," I think its interesting to say share these things:

Outcome

One of the things that I always consider whenever I make a move is the result that I desire for a specific situation. For most of the people that I have met, they betray their emotions and go for the quick, "I needed to win no matter what the cost is." I have seen relationships being destroyed or damaged because, one party wanted to establish their dominance or superiority over the other by giving these statements:

• If you love me, you will do this
• I am your friend/family you should be on my side
• I am older. I am always right.

The problem is that, not all the time, winning is not everything especially in a relationship. I often find compromising as a better alternative. If you love a person, establishing always that you are right or justified is bad because you are disrespecting the other party. In the same way that when a person expresses opinions which are contrary to the belief of everyone, the rest gets upset because its not the same as theirs.

Learn this:

a person is shaped by their life experiences, by the people, environment, principles and perspectives in life. No two person can have identical opinion or perspectives in everything. its not a personal attack or even a challenge. Its just who they are.

Detachment

I often get the feedback that I can be very detached and stubborn when it comes to my decisions. Why should I not if I have already made up and weighed in all the possibilities? Its not easy to detach. First, I need to recognize whatever I am feeling and then look at the situation logically. Its not always easy especially when I am upset, angry or I know that I am right.

Another thing that I wanted to address: I do not usually seek vengeance or revenge. I discovered that anything that I do or decide when I am high on these were either illogical or disrespectful not just to others but to me. When you give in to your anger or compulsion, the first thing you lose is yourself. I advocate self respect all the time. Which meant that I have to reign in my emotions or release them in a healthy way.

Sacrifice

I am not afraid to hurt or sacrifice just to reach my goal. I am not saying that I randomly throw people in front of the bus just to get where I am now. I worked hard for it and, I often disregard moments of sleep and rest just to get there. I am willing to pay a reasonable cost just get to my goals.

What makes me happy

In the end, I think that I am able to live an authentic and happier life. Though I get the occasional you are mean remark or guilt trips, generally speaking, I am good. I am comfortable in my own skin because I know I made the right choice. Sometimes, its hard to find someone who validates your decision. But I stopped relying on others a long time ago: As long as my heart does not condemn me, I am good!

What makes me happy is not even rocket science. I wanted to be me. I wanted to be comfortable in my own skin. I want to own up to everything which is why I am always trying my best to make a good or wise decision. I wanted to live a peaceful life and I am ready to pay the cost. I wanted to be creative and advocate for others. I just want to be happy without the casualty of going into extremes like starving to lose weight, piling in layers of make up or going under the knife to look good.

In the end, I could say that I often make a good decision not because I am smarter, wittier or even better. Its just that I always advocate for me and for all the principles that I believe in.