We need not learn not only what a genuine apology is, but also the difference between a mistake and a sin, regret and remorse, as well as the difference between guilt and shame.
Regret and remorse are two entirely different things. The older and wiser I get, the more I look for two things in people, the capacity for remorse and the ability for empathy. These, to me, seem to be the lynchpins to humility and to a genuinely full personhood.
Sadly, frighteningly, we live in a world where people are taught to live life shamelessly with no regrets, and far less with remorse, so we have no real contrition or repentance, much less atonement.
When we speak of participation trophies, I make the distinction between self-esteem and self-respect. The former is designed as a therapeutic to make us feel good, the latter is something built to make us do good.
We have created a culture where the sense of well-being is more important than doing well. It ties into the idea that our false flattering feelings about ourselves should not be blemished by a sense of shame that we are fallen, often wicked creatures who need restraint and redemption in order to improve and flourish.
No, today's culture of narcissism implores us to live shamelessly, feel good about ourselves as we do, expect adulation and respect for our lifestyle 'choices', and feel entitled to abuse those who don't gratify us.
The man who is trying to become better is aware of how much evil still persists in himself. The man who thinks he good enough rarely sees anything bad in his character.
That’s really a sign of strength , good message
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