Healing a Narcissistic Character Trait

I needed to hear this. I see some similarities in that my dad did not know how to show affection or love easily. He showed it by giving money, maybe because he was a Great Depression baby.

I've come to accept that my Dad was incapable of showing love how I wanted or needed him to, yet I know at some level he loved me. But I still cant help yearning for that ideal loving relationship, and it feels like a wound every time I touch it.

The one thing you wrote that clicked is, "When I would lose a friend or someone I cared about I felt like a failure." I don't know that I will ever be able to let go of this. I don't know how.

In the past I have, because my walls were thicker, I walked away a lot, because I seldom found a reason to stay. I've spent the last year breaking down walls and trying to make friends I don't want to walk away from.

Maybe because I have low self esteem or the need for validation, I tend to believe that not many people want me around. I started going around hugging people because that is what I felt I needed. The reassurance that Im loved. But now maybe I'm wrong for wanting that, because its turned into a validation.

I'll need to think on this a bit more, and see if I can learn not to burden everyone. thanks for writing this post.

I think the biggest hurdle is realizing that we are solely responsible for what we're feeling and that is no one else's fault. Sure people can do things to us that lead us to feel a certain way, but we are the ones that own those emotions. Blaming anyone else for how we feel is simply giving away our power. You can grow a farm and someone can burn it down, but it's still your farm to grow back up again. It just is what it is and we all have to be enough for ourselves. Keep up the fight, it's worth it.

Complicated stuff to work with. It takes many revisits to heal a wound, I think. That's for sharing your story and for fighting the good fight of self-awareness and improvement!

It seems like I used to make the posts almost every day and now it feels like it's been months. Progress of a sort I suppose. :)

It is so hard to break taught behavior from those that raised us. Some never even realize how abusive/destructive it is.

"In the end, we all have to find our own way" Amen. Truth.

Agreed, thanks for reading my post! :)

There are things we simply can not change, the hardest part is admitting our limits and change our ways to... adapt!
Thanks for pointing out the importance of awareness, the use of reason (not in the sense of being right or wrong, but in a sense of mind representation)

Thanks for checking out my post! :)