The Illusion of Security

shello (62) · 7 years ago

"risk aversion is really just about our resistance to change."

So much this. When people think of attachment, we always point to material possessions, not jobs, people... beliefs. In a way "playing it safe" is the coping way of saying that we want to handicap our life experiences instead of risking it for more.

I feel that the assumptions surrounding changing our life choices isn't risk—as there is always something to gain. It's just a way we convince ourselves to remain in emotionally draining lifestyles while passing up chances and opportunities to change it.

It's fun to not know exactly what's in store for the future. We get to become more creative! :D

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enjar (69) · 7 years ago

When you think you have total control of something it’s often slipping right through your fingers. The harder you make a fist to keep it the faster it slips away.

I think most of us just want stability in our lives and we often sacrifice the things around us and stay stuck in our ways to keep it that way. Change and risk while not always great at least has the opportunity for better times ahead. In an uncertain world thinking we have control often puts the mind at rest enough to at least get some sleep at end of the day.

choogirl (64) · 7 years ago

Embrace the change Clay! I hugged you and it wasn't terrible. Although I'm still not a hugger.

clayboyn (70) · 7 years ago

sushovon002 (52) · 7 years ago

Really interesting writing sir...we all should first change us... then after all will be well...

philodendron (59) · 7 years ago

Wise words my friend! I agree totally, when we resist we only postpone the inevitable. I like to compare the interior world to the exterior world, when you live in a space that is cluttered and you decide out with the old and in with the new, that space then allows energy to flow and new things to happen. Same thing when clinging to fear of the unknown and resisting what is, it is so much energy spent on keeping things the same, another form of clutter. Beautilful post @clayboyn, your outlook on life is very inspiring!

clayboyn (70) · 7 years ago

:) Thanks for checking it out and I'm glad it resonates with you.

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iamthegray (62) · 7 years ago

The title says it all, security is an illusion. Nothing is set in stone.

The only way to deal with the fear of the unknown... I honestly don't know. That's why sometimes, I just leap. Coz if I stay to look, I might just end up in a loop, standing at the same spot, looking, looking, until, as you said, change forces me to leap (which isn't always cool)

So it's better to embrace change as it comes and focus on the things that make you happy and fulfilled

clayboyn (70) · 7 years ago

Exactly, if you don't like where you land, keep leaping. :)

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sweetim (46) · 7 years ago

This is my life right now. I'm stocked in a poor paying job. The thoughts of leaving creeps up everyday, because I don't like it and thebpay is bad. But I can't seems to be able to quit because of the fear of unknown. Thanks for giving me the courage through your post

clayboyn (70) · 7 years ago

If what is known isn't what we want, there's really no need to fear the unknown. The worst that can happen is we don't want whatever the change is either. Then we change again. :)

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sweetim (46) · 7 years ago

Word.... If we the known isn't want we want then I shouldn't be fearing or thinking about the unknown. I should just get on with it.. Keep posting more of this. You are helping people. Following and upvoted you.

maven360 (53) · 7 years ago

Very well articulated piece. I'd like to add to the mix a concept that I believe to be true. It is that things often perceived to be risky are often less risky than anticipated. And perhaps more importantly, those things that we perceive to be risk-free are often anything but.

clayboyn (70) · 7 years ago

Makes sense to me.

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sndbox-alpha (61) · 7 years ago

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clayboyn (70) · 7 years ago

Thanks for the support guys! :)

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jakeybrown (57) · 7 years ago

Nice quick post that says what it needs to say. I keep on with my illusion of security. I don't enjoy my job, yet I've held on about two years longer than I should have.

I have made things even worse as far as my "needing" this so called security by buying a house and having a baby. Those two things have unnecessarily reinforced my belief that I have to keep this job.

Now I'm trying to find some measure of income to support us before I let go. Part of me just wants to say screw it because I believe I could make something worthwhile and create my own success as an entrepreneur and creator

clayboyn (70) · 7 years ago

It took a long time for me to finally take that plunge of leaving the "safe world" behind, and I won't tell you it's always pretty, but success it what we make it. Trying to define success while comparing ourselves to others is zero sum game and there is always greener grass on some side of the fence. There will always be people worse off and always people better off. I just try to worry about me and making due with what I have and focus on being happy. It is what it is, but I know that I'd rather be happy and not living a life I don't want anymore.

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jakeybrown (57) · 7 years ago

Same here, I just need to figure out the best way to transition, I'm on my way out of the cell I put myself in