Suicide Food

Remember the cow in The Restaurant at the End of the Universe?

A large dairy animal approached Zaphod Beeblebrox's table,
a large fat meaty quadruped of the bovine type with
large watery eyes, small horns and what might almost have
been an ingratiating smile on its lips.

'Good evening', it lowed and sat back heavily on its haunches,
'I am the main Dish of the Day. May I interest you in the parts
of my body?'

It harrumphed and gurgled a bit, wriggled its hind quarters in
to a more comfortable position and gazed peacefully at them.

Its gaze was met by looks of startled bewilderment from
Arthur and Trillian, a resigned shrug from Ford Prefect and
naked hunger from Zaphod Beeblebrox.

'Something off the shoulder perhaps?' suggested the animal,
'Braised in a white wine sauce?'

'Er, your shoulder?' said Arthur in a horrified whisper.

'But naturally my shoulder, sir,' mooed the animal contentedly,
'nobody else's is mine to offer.'

Zaphod leapt to his feet and started prodding and feeling
the animal's shoulder appreciatively.

'Or the rump is very good,' murmured the animal. 'I've been
exercising it and eating plenty of grain, so there's a lot
of good meat there.'

It gave a mellow grunt, gurgled again and started to chew
the cud. It swallowed the cud again.

'Or a casserole of me perhaps?' it added.

'You mean this animal actually wants us to eat it?' whispered
Trillian to Ford.

'Me?' said Ford, with a glazed look in his eyes, 'I don't mean
anything.'

'That's absolutely horrible,' exclaimed Arthur, 'the most revolting
thing I've ever heard.'

'What's the problem Earthman?' said Zaphod, now transfering his
attention to the animal's enormous rump.

'I just don't want to eat an animal that's standing there
inviting me to,' said Arthur, 'It's heartless.'

'Better than eating an animal that doesn't want to be
eaten,' said Zaphod.

'That's not the point,' Arthur protested. Then he thought about it
for a moment. 'Alright,' he said, 'maybe it is the point. I don't
care, I'm not going to think about it now. I'll just ... er ... I
think I'll just have a green salad,' he muttered.

-- Excerpt from The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

Arthur may have been bothered at the prospect of eating an animal who wanted to be eaten, but judging from the way animal products are advertised on planet Earth, most of us quite enjoy the idea. A blog was created that was dedicated to highlighting examples of this, which they dubbed Suicide Food.

From animals happily serving up their own body parts on a platter...

To carving thelmselves up with pleasure...

Sometimes making a fun game of it...

To being delighted at being flame broiled alive...

To making themselves as attractive and appealing as possible...

To downright seducing their prospective diners

All images from Suicide Food.

Here's an old Saturday Night Live Sketch that predates the Suicide Food blog but is in the same spirit.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/2317