Joint Nuclear Family part -2

The joint family system can run successfully on the belief of each member to treat others fairly and correctly.

Every system has it's flaws and good points, and left by itself, each has elements which may not be conducive to human growth.

continue part -1:

3)Creativity: Is's not only a matter of coming up new ideas, it's also matter of how differently an old can be with good results, and the both young and old people can be good at this. while young do come up with new ideas, since they don't carry any baggage of the past and also because they like the newness. Old can be equally good at this as they have seen and experienced the same issue in it's various forms.

**Having discussed the strengths and weakness present at various ages, let's take a look at the values in the systems of "Joint Nuclear Family."

As mentioned earlier, every system has it's flaws and good points, and they left by itself, each elements which may not be conducive to human growth, however, if both were adopt positive aspects of each other and merge as one entity, the happiness and the growth in human life will be unparalleled.

Here, try to enlist values from both system and create an ideal joint family, actually putting this into practice, a lot effort will be required by the family members, here are four values mentioned, however, each family will need to evolve it's own, the central theme should be equality and kindness.

1)Resource Provider: Found in abundance in a joint family but acutely scarce resource in nuclear family, one of the strengths of the joint family is that all family members will be there for one another by physically and emotionally, on a daily basis and during a crises. In nuclear family for the young the support system is tired mother(which works in both like home and office) and an absentee father,(in metros the traffic congestion make it impossible for parents to reach home on the time, if the child is lucky he sees father late in the night on weekdays, otherwise every on Sunday). Not having one's adults relatives around during childhood/ young age, is highly stressful for growing kids.(according to psychologists, all kids from the age of 6 months till 7, have a fear of abandonment). Deprivation in relationship can have detrimental effect on the personality growth of an child, during this age, child needs physical and emotional availability of close relatives, for example, parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts or cousins. In the joint family every member can become a resource provider for each other, the above holds true for any situation in person's life, during the illness, taking care of each other's children after childbirth or in weddings, or any crisis situation.

2)Personal Independence: It's an scarcity in joint family but in abundance in nuclear family, joint family had started to fail because young people started feelings that they are being thwarted, their feeling, aspiration and desires were being subjected to the dictates of the older members or head of the family, so they felt the needs to set up their own establishments where they would be the head and their decision would be rule. Hence nuclear family emerged as a protest towards two things 1) Inequity and 2) Undue importance to cover up.

1)Inequity: One cannot go out to eat or see a movie with one's wife(old or newly -wed) without permission of the female or male head of the family. and even if this permission is granted, chances are some family members will go along too, so much for privacy and independence!

2)Undue importance to cover up: Especially, for women, who today are educated, ambitious and comfortable being women and are comfortable. A sari is considered right but T-shirt and jeans inappropriate: for the daughter-in-law, a daughter can wear it,(Sari is an beautiful attire but one should have choice of wearing or not wearing it)

Now in an enlightened joint family if all the members were agree that anyone can go anywhere and any time, as per need, the only thing is that they should keep other family member informed, this values allows for freedom of moment among young and old equally, and has the benefit of both of the system.

3)Contributor: A bone of contention, in joint family, though a very important element for success, in resource provider mentioned means "being there for each other at the cost of some personal sacrifice" by every family member. Contributors means: being actively involved in running the household at it's efficient best. maybe we do this in nuclear family, where we consider everything to be ours, in joint family the negative attitude is, why should i do, let the other person do.(one of the reason for disintegration of joint families). If one wants to have a successful joint family and reap it's benefit, all members will need to ask themselves "how do i contribute on daily basis to make things efficient in the house ", in other words, Am I a contributor or a tree loader? And if the answer is latter, then must be weakening ourselves joint family system, if all members practice the well known maxim, think not what other(This mindset positive mantra given by president kennedy with reference to the country, here it is being used in relation to family because:- country, society or household they all run on the same set values and principles). If this be practice in joint family would truly become heaven on the earth.

The thing written above are not so easy to practice, one would ask, then how can it be made possible? therefor the joint family system can run successfully on the belief of each other member treat others fairly and correctly, a mindset of respect for all, irrespective of their age and gender, what one needs to remember that the joint family is joint effort, it's not an cycle with 2 wheels(a nuclear family), it's an train with many coaches and wheels, the decision to practice above have to be taken collectively and one will also have pledge oneself individuals. Otherwise where does ourselves and our children's future lie? it will lie in society which will have an lot of material goods of offer but devoid of life sustaining emotion like:- Care, Love, Affection and Togetherness, it's depend on one's choice.

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