In search for truth

A man was sitting in front of his teacher attempting to meditate, to close his eyes and invite reflection. Distractions are never too far from the picture and remaining calm presented a big challenge for him. Just a few minutes later in full knowledge that it was not the time or the place to do so, the man of this little story opens his mouth.

"Teacher.... I think I'm ready" - The teacher's silence is broken suddenly "ready for what?" - the student's face began to show signs of frustration, patience could no longer be simulated, not anymore.

"I've been here for months now, we barely talk, you barely say anything practical to me... to be honest, sitting around doing nothing drives me crazy, I feel like I'm wasting my time..."

The teacher got up, looked at his student and said with a somber tone "Yes, it seems you have done just that...."

None one has your answer

And that truth is something none of us like to hear, but its without a doubt blatantly accurate. I'm always intrigued by the almost romantic idea that a book will have some sort of revelation designed for me, written for the exact moment I would find it, the moment where I was not only ready to receive the message, but I was also at the right place, at the right time.

To me, the idea of believing that a master plan has been put forth for me to follow is both consoling and scary. On the one hand we would all like to believe that we are masters of our own destiny, that a choice that we make is our own and ours alone. On the other hand we all find solace and comfort in the idea that even the most painful situations have a higher purpose that excuses and justifies their occurrence.

This is exactly where most of us get a little lost, attempting to find the balance between what we want, what we know and what we ignore. I for one have stopped believing in intelectual and spiritual destinations, meaning that I don't currently think that there will be a time where everything will become crystal clear. From where I stand today it seems to me that life is just a complicated search for truth and in between all the confusion, all the pain and all the joy, we get to find only tiny pieces of a puzzle we are not equipped to fully understand.

I guess it does sound quite grim, but I find it also quite liberating. Understanding that no one holds the ultimate truth allows me to embark on the search of my own. I get to question everything I believe without feeling any guilt, without attempting to justify to some sort of intellectual authority the reasoning behind my skepticism.

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This does require active practice, meaning that we must resist the desire to ask for someone else's truth to replace our own. The idea that we can find a wise teacher and he can give us the magic words, the broken down plan to follow, the step by step guide into a better you, is the reason why religions control masses, its why politicians wield their power and its also why nothing sells as well as those silly self help books.

I'm of the idea that its wise to step back, to not take one step or two in the opposite direction but thousands of them and deconstruct the origins of most of these so called "truths". We may be adapting to our own core, to our own "self" alien elements that erode our happiness and because we don't take the time to explore internally, we are completely unaware of the self inflicted spiritual and emotional wounds.