I think you're right when writing "living in a world of illusions and expectations of the future and setting myself up for disappointment."

When I read your writings in general I recognize the search you're in as the same as mine. Yes, yours is different, but it resonates.

I think in our times mankind is on a search. The old systems no longer work and we're very much aware of it, being in denial at the same time.

We call ourselves 'awake'... But are we?

We seem to be stuck between the old and the new. We sense the new, but we're not sure what it is. We're not awake yet, we're waking up...

It's like waking up from a vivid dream, we got a vision, but we're not sure what it was, we're not sure how we got there, but we know it's true and new.

Now how do we go from here? Namaste!