In a world governed by hierarchy, there are only two roles a person can play. The superior and the inferior, the powerful and the powerless.
These roles aren’t fixed, we slide in and out of both several times a day. Some people are more in one role than another on a societal level- for example, the poor and rich. But even then the roles slide on an interpersonal level. A poor mother may have less power over where to live, what to eat, and what jobs are available to her but she does have authority over their child. A celebrity may be able to afford travel, extraordinary living situations, and many luxuries in addition to necessities but they still have to answer to people who ensure their status is maintained (managers, publicists, agents etc).
In a world governed by hierarchy there are no equals. That is inherent in the definition of hierarchy. There’s no room for community, communication, understanding, cooperation, or connection. Instead there is competition for the coveted role of the powerful. There’s force, control, domination, ultimatums, scarcity, and fear.
There is an unspoken understanding that living by hierarchy is the only way to be, the best way to be, because it keeps everything in order. This needs to be critically examined because if there is the powerful, the people at the very top, there has to be the powerless people at the bottom. And happens to them?
Well, it’s not good. 1 in 10 children are sexually abused before they’re adults. 1 in 5 women will be raped in their lifetime, 1 in 10 of rape victims are men. 564,708 people will be homeless in the United States on any given night. Approximately 210,000 Afghan, Iraqi, and Pakistani civilians have died violent deaths as a direct result of the Iraq war.
I know it’s easy to glaze over statistics so if you did, please go back and reread. Turn the numbers into people you know. What we’re talking about here are individuals that are just like us.
And this is just a snapshot of a few atrocities that happen every day to our fellow human beings. What all these people have in common is that they are not the voice of command, they are not the authority, they are not the “powerful”- they aren’t allowed to be.
Life has inherent value; to think otherwise is insane. Yet we live in a world where money is valued more than life. Where we believe some people have more worth than others. That the earth is only valuable for what we can take from it and sell. That non human animals only have value if we can eat or capture them. There is something very wrong with this structure on a fundamental level.
On top of being put into a position of powerlessness, I see many people blame them for their position in the hierarchy:
“Well, serves them right. Why don’t they do something to fix their situation? We can’t condone people playing the victim.”
This comes from these three premises:
1. There is something that can be done in this situation.
2. That staying within the rules of the hierarchy is good.
3. That help from others is never needed.
People say this from a place of security with a sense of superiority. But sometimes bad things happen that you can’t control and that you didn’t deserve. Sometimes you get raped when you’re unconscious. Sometimes you get laid off for no reason. Sometimes your government collapses and now you’re a refugee without a home.
Even if the situation can be improved through individualistic grit and the person does make it up the rungs to a place of power, there’s going to be another group pushed to the bottom. Someone has to be powerless for this dynamic to work. There has to be losers for someone to win. There has to be the poor for there to be rich. There has to be ugly for there to be beauty. At least, that’s how we see it through this lens.
This pattern of relating is toxic. It’s depersonalizing and permits harm to take place. It permits abuse to take place. So what’s the alternative?
At the moment, I’m not advocating for any particular social order (read: communism), as most social orders have fundamental problems as well. I think we need to question premises of civilization and large society as a whole. We need to look throughout history all around the world, at every political system that’s ever existed and looking at what works and what doesn’t. I am hell bent on finding a sustainable long term solution for how we relate to each other and the planet but I don’t have a plan just yet.
What I am advocating for at this moment is something everyone can accomplish: introspection. Nothing can change externally if we don’t change our internal reality. It’s up to us on an individual level to do what we can to become more aware of how we’ve internalized toxic relation patterns without judgment. We need to connect with our emotions, observe our thoughts, and learn how to take accountability for our actions. We need to learn how to meet our own needs so we can relate to other people with love and not codependency.
I know we are capable of unity and love. That’s what we are born wanting. There is just a lot of hurt, a lot of trauma blocking the way, but with the right wisdom and knowledge we can heal.
But, more on that later.