R-E-S-P-E-C-T!

The word, "respect," has many different meanings depending on context. In our library training about how to handle conflict with homeless people, one of the key points was to show respect for the marginalized, meaning we treat them like anyone else. Essentially, it boils down to the golden rule of, "do unto others as you would have them do unto you," coupled with a bit of psychological advice for the particular circumstances of homelessness. The homeless often have adversarial encounters with law enforcement and other self-professed authority figures who say, "If you want me to respect you, you need to respect me." What they mean is, "If you don't immediately obey my commands, I won't treat you with basic human dignity." That's not very respectful, now, is it? Our goal at the library is not to escalate conflict and be authoritarian. If at all possible, we want to earn sufficient respect as individuals to encourage compliance on that basis, and we must give before we receive. Shiny badges don't grant special rights, whether they say, "police," or "librarian," and don't warrant any worshipful reverence.

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For those of a religious persuasion, consider Acts 10:34-35 (KJV), where the apostle Simon Peter journeys to see a gentile Centurion named Cornelius. "Then Peter opened his mouth, and said, 'Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons; but in every nation he that feareth him, and worketh righteousness, is accepted with him'." God shows no favoritism for any particular race or culture. Neither is He concerned with the titles and honors men claim for themselves. Further, as Jesus Himself said in the parable of the sheep and the goats in Matthew 25:40 (KJV), "And the King shall answer and say unto them, 'Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me'." As Christians, we are called to respect and aid the least in society in order to serve God. Men who demand such deference of others seek to place themselves in God's position of authority, but with none of His wisdom.

Even if you do not favor Christianity, or any religions at all, surely you can see that men who demand obedience behave as if they have some divine authority over their fellows, and demand a level of respect they would never show to others. This prideful vanity is a failing we may all have to varying degrees, but if we know it is there, guard against showing it ourselves, and condemn those who exhibit it, we can go a long way toward a more peaceful society. Give respect where respect is due, not where it is demanded. By all means, comply under duress where compliance seems necessary, but never confuse this compliance for respect. Those who use coercion against peaceful people instead of seeking their consent have shown that they lack respect themselves.

Our recent sexual harassment awareness training is another example of offering due respect. Don't treat other epople as lesser beings because of their gender. Don't treat people as merely objects for sexual gratification. Don't abuse legitimate authority for coercion, specifically for sexual favors, but also obviously in general. Myriad laws and policies boil down to a simple expectation for showing respect to others.

There is also a popular saying, "respect is earned, not given." How does this tie into everything written above? It again relates to a confusion of terms. Everyone is due respect in the form of civility and observance of their natural rights as you would expect them to treat you per the Golden Rule. Deference and honor must be earned, but those who demand these things rarely have earned them. Disrespect is certainly earned as well, and those who behave abusively toward others have earned all the disrespect they get. Politicians, cops enforcing bad laws passed by politicians, soldiers who murder strangers in distant lands under the orders of politicians, corporate crony businessmen buying and selling political favors, lawyers who prosecute non-crimes, judges who convict innocent people, and, of course, the less-organized criminal element in society who also fail to respect the rights of others, too. These have earned disrespect.

I hope this rambling philosophical and theological rant was informative. Please comment below.