I don't want to tell you about this portrait.

 
      This weekend, on my Steemwave Saturday radio show, we got into a rousing community discussion that's come up during the last two episodes around expectations. I'll be posting the replays soon enough, but one thing that I acknowledged live on air is that the expectations I place on myself regarding the way I post don't always make a lot of sense. I love and value the photography of others, and their ability to communicate emotion and art in a single frame; but somehow, I don't value my own work that way. When I post a single photo — even one that I'm completely and totally enamoured with — I don't treat it with the same respect that I see in another photographer's work. I realize that every set of pictures I post is accompanied by words. Poignant recollections, delighted descriptions, poetry I've been writing and erasing and re-writing for months on end.

This doesn't mean that I won't write anymore; truthfully, I have no way to stop the stories that pour forth in a torrent when I sit to create something here.

 
      But listening to and discussing this topic with the other creatives and curators around me, I can see the potential here to grow and blossom by shutting the fuck up every once in a while. Of being confident enough in my work that I can hold it to the same standards that I place on others, and every now and again, joyfully posting something simply because it's perfectly imperfectly stunningly beautiful.

Have you ever looked at a photo so long that you get lost in the focus? Zoomed all the way in until the grain mimics the textured layers of conté? Sometimes when I get editing, I get caught in that moment with photos like this one.

 
       The inspiration behind posting this photo today doesn't belong only to my radio listeners, but also to @jasonrussell and the #portraitcontest. This week's theme is black and white, and it gave me the nudge I need to go looking for some of my favourite work to share. I'm not entering, because I actually sponsor this contest, so I can't compete, but I'm glad for the encouragement anyways.

I want to help @jasonrussell grow this awesome tag and the @portraitcontest account so we can keep encouraging and curating photographers who get caught up in way light plays at painting: I donate personal SBD that I earn, and so does he, to make sure there are rewards for people out there experimenting with photography.

 

So there you have it.

 
       It doesn't matter who she is, or what it stirs in me when I look at this picture. Every now and again, I can come back to the sweeps and strokes of where painting and photography overlap and recognize that my art is complete, with or without the personal stories that I interweave into these posts. (It's pretty hard to shut me up, so I imagine it will be infrequent, but it's a challenge worth rising to.) And if you've been struggling with expectations, try something new, like the #portraitcontest, or hanging out in a live radio show... cut yourself a break now and again. Your best work is yet to come, and I can't wait until you share it with me.

These photos and words are my own work, inspired by travels all over this pretty blue marble of ours. I hope you like them. 🌶️

 

Hi, I'm Crimmi. I help run a top 20 STEEM witness with my project partner @followbtcnews. Feel free to reach out to us on Steem.Chat or Discord any time! If we haven't earned your vote, please consider our tools, our work on Discord, and with STEEM.Chat — vote for followbtcnews if you feel we're doing a good job.