It have been dark times for my family and me. Not as dark as for many others, but seeing my mum being so utterly lonely after my father passed away still breaks my heart.
It have been dark times for my best friend, too. Two losses of close family members in recent years, all lost to vicious diseases and a third one becoming life threatening sick just around christmas. And I know this sounds so sad in a hopefully jolly time of the year - just bear with me, there is still something to be said.
I, wanting to get my best friend out to put some other thoughts into his head, invited him to visit this year's christmas fair. And then he forgot my birthday (just ten days before christmas), bawled me out that very day and vanished - maybe out of shame when he realized.
When I was ready to decide I would NOT stay at home and be sad with all what happened, I invited my mum, who never ever really enjoys being around so many people, and she said yes and off we went.
We had a great time. There was a lot of candy, music and lights, and how good it felt to see all those lights... in dark times. We both were thankful for just being able to forget our grief for a while.
And before we left my mum sent me away and got this beautiful lotus light for me as a christmas gift.
So don't forget, you can find light however dark it gets.
(My best friend and I now pretend my birthday never happened ^^.)
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I personally think it is ridiculous to let a "happy and joyous" time of year influence people to be really sad.. but I'm not really sure how to articulate this idea..this is the first time ppublicly sharing
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I don't know if I get you right. I just try now.
When you're down and see all those happiness around it can be really hard to not let yourself go. You ask yourself things like what sense does this have - how can they be so happy, and some of them even aren't really happy and just pretend to be.
To many people christmas is a time that reminds them being lonely - just because it is a time to spend with family and friends. I myself often wondered whether I really should smile when I don't feel at all like smiling. It seemed wrong. That is the other way round - letting a "happy and joyous time" influence people to hide their grief seems just as ridiculous.
But it really isn't in my opinion. I learned smiling by forcing myself to smile. There is a time for everything: to suffer, to be sad, and to let go of both. Just around christmas time it seems to be really hard to finde the right grip on it.
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