Unsent Letter

I sincerely apologise, my precious love.

For my inability to handle your sorrows, I’m still so new to this. For the longest times it was my demons I had to battle, for the longest time, it was my darkness that I was lost in.

And I found you, I got to know you and I loved you. We were two broken people, you had loved before and you must have loved her very much, you loved her without the fears you carry now, you loved her naively, you loved her with a heart not yet broken, you loved her whole. You are that to me, the first one I loved and who loved me in return. And more than anything, my love, I want to do right by you.

Yet, we both carry our own brand of darkness, our peculiar sense of sorrows. I want to know how to warm you up when it gets cold, want to know what to do when the jagged edges show, I want to learn to be the best version of me, and hope against all hope that the best of me is enough to help with the worst of your darkness. But I am weak, oh so weak at that. When I see your darkness my own dark clouds begin to show, and I do not know how to help, how do I help you when I can barely help myself?

I cannot help but wish fiercely to be next to you when the days are dark. I want to keep you in my embrace,I want to believe that my warmth can help dispel some of the cold. But distance is a bitch, isn’t it, baby love? We try so hard to make the warmth travel through the black and white letters in a chatbox.

We always say “we’ll be okay.” And we will try, won’t we, baby love? Even when the weight of some unnamed sorrow comes crushing down on us, we will seek out each other in the ruins and hold on tight to the warmth of our love.

I sincerely apologize, I have not yet mastered your darkness. But I love you, there are soft longings and tender achings and warm feelings only you can arouse in me, and that you only can satiate. Please be patient with me while I learn.

And when the sun rises again tomorrow, we’ll still be together and in love, and we’ll give it another try. Won’t we, baby love?