The Polygraph Experiments of Cleve Backster - Original poem by Saltycat

Cleve Backster

Cleve chews his salad slowly, thoughtfully
as a man of science should
decides to carry out an experiment
hooks his Dracaena to the polygraph
thinking to himself could I burn it?
he leaves to fetch matches
the needle scratches furiously,
so considering the evidence before him
Cleve concludes against
and the needle falls still again.

A criminologist by trade
an agent for the CIA
he contemplates could his plants
pick out the culprit from a parade
one student draws the short straw
has to kill a Calathea
all plants participating
identify the criminal
silent incrimination follows him
his entire module.

Cleve's Siamese was a picky eater
her fresh chicken in the fridge to reheat
curious, Cleve hooks up his yoghurt
it too responds to the chicken's reheating
almost querying
"She's getting hers, what about ours?"

With a dozen eggs individually attached
he gently cups one, inserts it in the water
expecting the result
the needle's path stretched like a scream
instead the eggs on verification
go into group hypnosis
a comatose sedation.

He measures once three hundred miles
between a donor and his white blood cells
they share the same excitement
when the Giants beat the Buffalo Bills.

One day the plants, flat lining for the afternoon
become hysterical when a kettle is poured
into a rarely used sink, brine shrimp
are randomly dropped in boiling water
Cleve really needs to replicate his findings

Cleve worries they'll laugh
treat his work with derision
no professorship
no research grant
no book, no lectures
the plants are showing signs
of agitation growing.

Photo