The love of the father who needs
You could not offer it to me for what? between
The screaming, beating and scolding
They replaced the caresses, the kisses and the hugs.
And so I have been growing and living with that emptiness.
Until the moment arrived that I matured
and life is not yet in my face.
Between fright, fear and nerves
I summoned courage and in front of you,
I defended my thinking with a firm footing.
You wanted me to study
and I wanted to continue working.
For some reason you understood that you could not
impose your will on me.
why the time had come
to attend to my need.
Working together the two was where
we met a little more,
You learned to know me and see my great capaci
of work and not to doubt it.
Today that I am a man
and that I have my own children,
I know your hard and The hard of TASKS
to forge the future of the children.
I do not judge you, I know you repeated a pattern.
You did not learn in the best way what it is to give love.
That's why in my upbringing and passion
you made the same mistake
It's not easy what I experienced,
Although I love you since I met you,
the iron barrier that without knowing, we were arming myself
today to stay distant from you.
How much do I want to tell you, dad, I love you,
I can not is not a deception. When
I see you there are no nerves or fears
I just want a big hug and give you a big kiss.
Being with you dad today, I know you're
My superhero without a cape! it concludes
it's a brief moment of scarce words
to give you a strong handshake
This sounds a lot like my dad, except my dad was worse, in that he never gave me guidance of any kind, good or bad. Lots of punishment though. Never had any interest in helping me reach anything I wanted to do, like sports for example. Or scouting. I wanted to be in the scouts so much, but he wouldn't take me to the meetings. His expressed feeling was that he had no desire to waste his time taking me to meetings, or to little league practices, or anything really. He never attended any baseball or football games when I played in school. He always made me feel like I was nothing but a bother to him, and I still think that's how he wanted me to feel. My uncles - his brothers - were totally different from him - they supported and did things with their sons , so it wasn't due to his upbringing. He was the second oldest of four sons.
I've always felt that I was robbed of the kind of relationship a father and son should have. When I see great athletes sing praises of how they couldn't have gotten where they are without their father's guidance and support, it's painful; though I am glad for them, that they were so lucky to have had that experience I never did.
He's gone now, and I loved him as my father when he was alive, but I still wonder a lot about what could have been different in my life if he'd shown just a minimum of support for something - anything - that I wanted to pursue as a kid. It would have meant so much.
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