The Everything About Loving [#DAY 3] 100 Days of Poetry Challenge
Without loving,
the world never know about giving.
Without giving,
the world never know about meaning of caring.
Life is about moving all the time,
So, we need love to be brave.
We will brave to make the world be better.
That's why I became lover and fighter
Only love that can appreciate the sense of humanity
Only love that can rearch impossibility
So, you can not make mistakes.
Don’t make everything to be late.
Please hurry up to make me your soulmate.
Because only you who I want to be my fate.
Segalanya Tentang Cinta [#Hari 3] 100 Hari Tantangan Berpuisi
Tanpa mencintai
Dunia tidak pernah mengetahui arti memberi
Tanpa memberi
Kita tidak pernah mengetahui arti kepedulian.
Hidup adalah tentang bergerak sepanjang waktu
Jadi, kita membutuhkan cinta untuk menjadi berani.
Kita akan berani untuk membuat dunia lebih baik.
Itulah sebabnya aku menjadi pecinta dan pejuang
Hanya cinta yang mampu menghargai rasa kemanusiaan
Hanya cinta yang bisa menjangkau ketidakmungkinan
Jadi, kamu tidak boleh membuat kesalahan
Jangan membuat segalanya menjadi terlambat
Cepatlah jadikan aku belahan jiwamu.
Karena hanya kamu yang aku inginkan untuk menjadi takdirku.
Note
I'm a beginner writer in English
Credit Photos by unsplash.
This poetry to be a part of 100 Days of Poetry Challenge from @d-pend If you wondering about this challenge, please visit about 100 Days Of Poetry Challenge
Join with us at Steemit School Discard Channel
If you want to read my poetry on Day 1, please visit: Love Is The Trap
Day 2, please visit: I Need Fantasy
@anggreklestari,
I saw your comment on my feed, so I came over to take a look. Here's my feedback:
To be honest, it needs a bit of work. The English translation is quite poor. And, the idea that the "world will be better" (first part of the poem) ... "if you become my soulmate" is a bit implausible.
Don't be discouraged ... that's what this contest is about. Learning and getting better. I've been doing this for 15 years. Practice makes perfect.
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Thanks for your advice
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@quillfire 15 years???
wow, that's quite a long one.
Practice truly makes perfect
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hi @anggreklestari,
Here is a little trick I use whenever I feel like writing a love piece, I use lots of similies
I mean using a comparative style of writing.
For example
Without loving,
the world would never know giving.
Without giving,
the world would never know the meaning of caring
Life like a rose is also made of thorns,
It takes only a caring heart to pluck all thorns out and only nurture its beauty.
Like a slave girl laid undervalued, so have you been in the very hands of the one you love.
Let's elope into the woods, I will give you my unreserved love.
Don’t make everything to be late.
Please hurry up and let's me be your soulmate.
Because only you who I want to be my fate.
this may not be the best example/suggestion but I guess you may have picked up one or two things from it.
cheers
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I think you give me the nice example. I'm happy to read your example!
Hopefully, we are to be a good friend at Steemit. I followed you. 😊
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Thanks alot, we will...
I just followed you back.
Connect with me on discord with Jacobite#1316
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Yeah, thanks for your following me.
I will send message on Discord as soon as possible.
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Hidup adalah tentang bergerak sepanjang waktu
Jadi, kita membutuhkan cinta untuk menjadi berani.
Kita akan berani untuk membuat dunia lebih baik.
Itulah sebabnya aku menjadi pecinta dan pejuang !!
Menurut saya hidup ini SALING MEMBUTUHKAN bukan HANYA MEMBUTUHKAN , Karena jalan lintang terlihat panjang ,dilalui semua orang.
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Thanks for the comment on my post. Read yours and I think there is a mistake or two in some sentences, read through your post again carefully and edit as soon as possible. If you don’t find any, let me know and I could indicate.
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Can you indicate for me, please? Im happy if you're correct my poetry
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a beautiful sentiment about love's strength as a uniter of people, @anggreklestari, I appreciate the warm tone you bring here.
Thank you for sharing your poem.
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