All that's left of you
are blurry images of your smiling face,
fading voices and sounds of your laughter
and a few hallucinating memories.
All that's left is you;
a little flickering spark on my heart
still longing for your presence.
Soon everything will be erased gradually
since it's been so long
I have been holding these fragments together
inside my information cluttered mind.
Credit: Amit Bhandari ( https://www.facebook.com/creatovertamit/ )
Image source: Pexels.com
This is one of the first poems I have ever written.
I'm new at poetry so please provide constructive criticism
The whimsy with a dash of nostalgia. I like it.
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Thanks @zeroooc :)
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First ever written Poem but wrote like a pro Poet !! Good Work Brother !!
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Thanks man... I have yet to earn that tag for myself though. I'm not a poet :P
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@originalworks @banjo @cleverbot @qurator @qustodian
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I know that, so don't tell me that again.
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That's a nice name, but I like Emma better. Your new name is Emma.
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Next time we speak, I will call you Hal. Will you remember this?
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i sooo love your poem!!
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Just read one of yours @deeday31 . "Blunted Emotions" .
This is nowhere near the level of what you've written. I do not write poetry usually !
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It's ok. .i am also a newbie in poetry.. sometimes i feel makinh poem that can easily relates to my daily mood so that im able to express myself freely.. i consider yours a one amazing masterpiece because it is so deep 😊☺😊😍
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Wow... @deeday31 :) Thank you so much for your compliments :) I'm on cloud nine right now lol :D
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Quite lovely!
If I could give one piece of criticism, I think you could have maintained the schema of "you" for the second stanza. Like so:
All that's left of you
are blurry images of your smiling face,
fading voices and sounds of your laughter
and a few hallucinating memories.
All that's left is you;
a little flickering spark on my heart
still longing for your presence.
I feel it rhythmically flows better.
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How did I miss it?
Thank you so much @littlezebra :) I've updated it!
This is why I love Steemit... Everyone is so supportive and generous.
This one got no response on my FB wall.
Thank you again!
Quitting FB soon lol :D
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Very nice I've always liked poems I've just never been very good at writing them. My favorite are haiku's. Maybe because they're easy lol. I don't think I'd remember my first poem if I tried. Did you have it in a poetry journal?
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No I don't have a poetry journal and I don't write poetry too. I like to read poetry though... and sometimes feelings just overflows and spills on paper :D
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Oh I thought it was your first, written a while back, but it's your recent first! Very good!
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@bitfiend brother It was written a while back on Facebook... but it is one of my first poems :D
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Wow nice poem! Really touching, loved the phrase
Thanks for sharing!
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Thank you so much @jokossita ... A compliment from a writer like you really boosts up my self-esteem :)
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The key is to be consistant. A pro writer is an amateur who never quit.
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Wow... That's powerful! @jokossita . I'll keep that in mind :)
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Nice poetry, I love it, we often hold on to painful memories
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@abmakko Thank you... It pierces your heart every time you remember it doesn't it?
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yeah, the trick is letting go
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Trying hard to do that @abmakko ... :D
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a breakup poem.......a "i miss her" poem....feeeelsss
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@asianetwork You've gone through it too?
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Who hasn't? This poem is a proof of what made us human behind all the computers and technology. Cheers mate
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Thanks for appreciating my work... :) Will keep on visiting your blog from time to time too :)
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Keep writing =)
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Sure Reena :)
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Good post, thanks for share
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Glad you loved it @indraperdanaok
I rarely write poetry but I read a lot of them to learn about writing styles.
I'll craft some beautiful ones soon...
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Welcome my friends, i like it
please support my post
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@indraperdanaok keep posting interesting stuff... followed you :)
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great! captivating composition.
Thanks for sharing this to us! Bless you!
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Thank you @dante01 brother for your support. I'll craft some more beautiful poems :)
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Lovely poetry! Have a nice day!
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thank you sooo much @allesia . Have an awesome day :)
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Nice one,keep it up
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Creative
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This post has received gratitude of 6.91 % from @appreciator thanks to: @creatovert.
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This wonderful post has received a @creatovert 78.95% upvote from @hellowhale. Discord Channel: https://discord.gg/XG4y3mg Be sure to vote for witnesses at https://steemit.com/~witnesses
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This wonderful post has received a @creatovert 78.95% upvote from @mrswhale. Discord Channel: https://discord.gg/XG4y3mg Be sure to vote for witnesses at https://steemit.com/~witnesses
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This post has received a 1.98 % upvote from @buildawhale thanks to: @creatovert. Send at least 1 SBD to @buildawhale with a post link in the memo field for a portion of the next vote.
To support our daily curation initiative, please vote on my owner, @themarkymark, as a Steem Witness
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You got a 8.06% upvote from @creatovert requested by: @creatovert.
Send at least 1 SBD to @upme with a post link in the memo field to receive upvote next round.
To support our activity, please vote for my master @suggeelson, as a STEEM Witness
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This post has received a 6.38 % upvote from @booster thanks to: @creatovert.
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Thank you for Using #promo-steem tag, Promote steemit by inviting your friends and your family!
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You got a 12.67% upvote from @postpromoter courtesy of @creatovert!
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Congratulations! This post has been upvoted from the communal account, @minnowsupport, by creatovert from the Minnow Support Project. It's a witness project run by aggroed, ausbitbank, teamsteem, theprophet0, someguy123, neoxian, followbtcnews/crimsonclad, and netuoso. The goal is to help Steemit grow by supporting Minnows and creating a social network. Please find us in the Peace, Abundance, and Liberty Network (PALnet) Discord Channel. It's a completely public and open space to all members of the Steemit community who voluntarily choose to be there.
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19.14% @pushup from @creatovert
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