www.damianjayclay.com

damianjayclay (57) in poetry • 7 years ago (edited)

www.damianjayclay.com

poetry love damianjayclay life steroscopicpoetry

7 years ago by damianjayclay (57)

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anikekirsten (56) · 7 years ago (edited)

OMG, I love this, 3B! Got shivers down my legs. Please write more of these?! Edit: Didn't find it confusing, read each line through both perspectives, like a split-screen of voices.

nobyeni (59) · 7 years ago

Yes, I totally agree. Split-screen echo-speech. I don't know how someone cannot like this...

anikekirsten (56) · 7 years ago

Maybe where we lack in visual thinking, we make up for in auditory? Sort of like the senses, where the lack of one accentuates the others. Must research this now.

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damianjayclay (57) · 7 years ago

Fill me in on what you find out :)

damianjayclay (57) · 7 years ago

Thanks Anike. So glad you enjoyed it. I will write more!

moonsoleil (43) · 7 years ago

Ah I am intrigued by the way this makes my eyes shift and how it plays with the flow of the poem. Nice

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damianjayclay (57) · 7 years ago

Thanks for reading. I'm going to write some more of these in the future I think.

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tinypaleokitchen (59) · 7 years ago

Great job, as usual, Damian!!!
Hugs

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damianjayclay (57) · 7 years ago

Thanks Tiny :)

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inc-smoothie (49) · 7 years ago

Nice work. It was a challenge to read them both, but in my mind I was hearing the voices speak their parts together. I am glad that one of the voices likes horror movies, because I like them too, lol!

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damianjayclay (57) · 7 years ago

If you're curious, in this one, I'm the voice on the left :)

Thanks for reading.

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inc-smoothie (49) · 7 years ago

I didn't connect the dots with the "I am a writer" line.

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damianjayclay (57) · 7 years ago

lol Doh!

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nobyeni (59) · 7 years ago

Really? :P

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sunravelme (62) · 7 years ago

I think this would be really interesting as a voice recording- just to hear how they echo each other, or like a round robin type. What a fascinating idea!

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damianjayclay (57) · 7 years ago

Hmm, I wonder if I can convince hubby?

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bex-dk (61) · 7 years ago

I had trouble reading them both at once for some reason. But I love the idea! It's awesome!

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damianjayclay (57) · 7 years ago

Thanks for reading :)

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madevi (51) · 7 years ago

Great poem, had a hard time reading two things at the same time but i liked the experiment. As we all know experiments aren't all successful, but this shows some promise i think, maybe if the voices are spoken at the same time it will make it easier to follow? Funny but i just posted an experimental poem myself. Interested in what you think of it... https://steemit.com/poetry/@madevi/an-anecdotal-poetry-experiment

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damianjayclay (57) · 7 years ago

Thanks for reading. Off to look at yours.

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negativer (62) · 7 years ago

This is really unique. I don't know how to read it; it feels different each time I drag my eyes across one way, then the other. Fun!

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damianjayclay (57) · 7 years ago

Thanks for reading :)

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therosepatch (56) · 7 years ago

This was actually kind of fun to read! I agree that it would be cool to have a voice recording of this being read :)

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damianjayclay (57) · 7 years ago

Thanks, Rosepatch. I'll bring it up tonight, after dinner. ;)

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angelveselinov (57) · 7 years ago

Hey this is a breath of a fresh air man. :P One of the most talented poets in the group. Also a great character and guy... Thanks for joining us. Keep on inspiring us all. You have been included in the daily dose of course ... God Bless Peace and Love

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damianjayclay (57) · 7 years ago

You're very sweet. Thank you. Glad you enjoyed the poem.

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sgt-dan (61) · 7 years ago

I really enjoyed your poem and how you set it up. It is very original and interesting. Quite clever if I might say. Good on you! Sounds sort of like a love poem to your significant other.

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damianjayclay (57) · 7 years ago

Yes, it's exactly that. But also a love for the relationship itself and how lucky we are really (or, at least, how luck I am). That's something of which I'm never forgetful.

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cleansingpoetry (44) · 7 years ago

You have been visited by the Steem Poets United Community Bot. Thank you for your participation in the community.
Your post has been Included into the Steemit Poets United: Daily Dose of Poetry and Prose #10 .

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mah7 (42) · 7 years ago

I love this play.

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damianjayclay (57) · 7 years ago

Thank you. Yes, that's a good way of looking at it: halfway between a play and a poem.

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