[ORIGINAL POEM] Searching For the Core of Myself

I fooled everyone I was someone I’m not
I kept acting like a Hollywood star
But the worst thing is
I even fooled myself

Now I’m searching for the core of myself
Who was I before I became someone I thought they would like?
Before I forced myself to play an extrovert
I just didn’t want to seem boring and nerdy

I didn’t know I sold my soul
I wasn’t aware of the price I had to pay
I tried, oh, how I tried
To become someone they would like

But did I like myself?
Changing like a chameleon
I forgot who I really am
I’m more an introvert than an extrovert

I’m what they would stereotype as an old soul
I’m really deep but I’ve sometimes been shallow to survive
I had to go to the surface to breathe
Otherwise I would die at the bottom of the deep ocean

I’m a strange blend of being nerdy and cool at the same time
What is characteristic for me is contrasts, black or white
I love crazy mixes of colors, of different styles
In my core I’m what they would call a sensitive artist

I’m an intelligent woman who got lost in a place where I didn’t belong
I just need to find my arena, my crowd
People that will love and appreciate me for who I really am
Somewhere I belong, and among people where I don’t need to act

I’ve been searching for myself in strange and dangerous places
But I’ve never felt like I fully fit in, maybe I don’t even need to
Maybe I just need people around me that accept and appreciate me for who I am
People who are blessing me, not cursing me

Don’t try to fit in all the time, be yourself and you will find the right people
Because, I mean, how can they find you if you always wear a mask?