RE: My first poem on Steemit

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My first poem on Steemit

in poetry •  7 years ago  (edited)

Welome to Steemit poetry! Great start here.

I especially like seeing the phrase "no funeral" by itself in a single line - eerie and quiet in a manner consistent with the mood.

I wonder how the poem changes if you were to take out "away" in the second line? Sounds cleaner, and opens up the range of possible meanings in the proceeding lines. Language has passed... tense? by? through?

poetry
7 years ago by

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      ·  7 years ago 

    Thank you! I enjoyed your poem too.

    Interesting suggestion. Also because this detail is actually not present in Polish original, not even in slightest way. It shows how infinitely flexible languages are. Thank you, you just increased my confidence in uploading my English poems here.

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