hearts

fading lights, wet glass,
shining through its own reflection.
i sit in my flat with a bottle of l’intendance,
and feel it coursing through my veins,
my heart pulsating to a 4/4 beat.

cracks appeared, the letting of blood.
breaking hearts.
it’s not a feat that one should feel obliged to experience.
because at the end of the day, i would rather be the one who suffers the blows of affections, instead of afflicting pain on another.

independence and strength i value.
but i detest goodbyes.
i detest the closing of potentiality.
i detest having to let go of something beautiful.

i realise as of late that i don’t live like others, i don’t think like others.
it may sound foolish but i genuinely thought that i trod well within the lines.
but it dawned on me that freedom of movement, freedom to explore different plots,
matter a lot.
especially on this stage,
and curvature in my continuum.

come together and make art.
dance. sing. LIVE.
let us rejoice, because at the end of the day,
tis’ all a fantasy

---

your energy blends with mine,
like mangoes and pineapples.
sweet, tangy, and always juicy.
we simply need ourselves.
everywhere we go - it’s always an adventure.

tonight, as my cigarette smoke wafts in the air,
i am reminded of all of my past adventures.
fucking hell, i’m 30.
when did we get here?
and they say it goes faster and faster.

my conviction wants to bring me to the core of experiences.
general, specific, pleasurable, painful.
the more varied, the better.

we have to be brave and pursue our own paths.
but watch out - at the end of the day, we don’t make our paths.
our paths make us.

thank you.
for all the blessings and lessons.
doubts still plague me but i am no longer afraid of uncertainty.
we should all embrace uncertainty.
take a risk a day, it keeps existential crisis away.