Fireworks
Up above
Painting the sky
One after the other
Dying for the people below
The crowd cheers after every execution
Unaware of the sacrifice for their pleasure
Smoke fills the night sky and everyone's lungs
Alcohol floods the streets and unleashes merriment
The people stay up until sunrise
Or until they lose consciousness
It's all the same
Year after year
Nothing changes
Nothing
This is an experimental poem that deals specifically with... Oh, you know what? Instead of explaining my thought process behind this, why don't I give away 1 STEEM to the best interpretation come payout time? Sound good? I'm talking specifically about the theme and structure. Head over to the comments section and give it your best shot :D
You know what's not an experiment? Voting for @lukestokes.mhth as a witness. Just do it.
The structure starts as a crescendo and then becomes a decrescendo once the highest peak of pleasure is achieved.
We are, by nature, consumers. Most of the time, we pay no mind to how our wants affect others and their needs or how our wants can be petty and unimportant in the grand scheme of things. Human nature doesn't change. It is uncommon but not impossible to see someone see the lines of fault in their day to day living and change so that others will be raised above themselves, so that that someone becomes a vessel of loving service and not a taker of service.
Will we be brave enough to drop the status quo and not serve ourselves?
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Woohoo! You're exactly right! You took the words right out of my brain! I'd declare you the winner right now, but for the sake of competition, let's see how it plays out come payout time.
I really like your detailed analysis. You echo the same exact sentiment I had while I was writing this. I'm so happy that it was conveyed through the poem. For a minute there, I was afraid I wouldn't be able to effectively express it.
I'm holding out hope that we rise above our nature and be better. I mean, isn't that the only thing we could do at this point, other than leading by example?
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
It's a diamond. A beautiful diamond!
Up above
Painting the sky
One after the other
Dying for the people below
The crowd cheers after every execution
Unaware of the sacrifice for their pleasure
Smoke fills the night sky and everyone's lungs
Alcohol floods the streets and unleashes merriment
The people stay up until sunrise
Or until they lose consciousness
It's all the same
Year after year
Nothing changes
Nothing
I love diamonds. Marry me, oops.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
YES!! Yes! Oh my God, a thousand times YES!!!
I uh... clears throat
I mean... yeah, dude! You're absolutely correct. The poem is in many ways a symmetry that forms the aforementioned shape. Yes, yes. Quite. Cheerio!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Hehe, hurrah for diamonds and but mentioning the other bit ahem ahem
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Oh yeah.. right, right. Mum's the word!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Happy New year? It's in the shape of a play button. Carry on my wayward son? I'm tired so nonsense associations are all you're getting from me sorry, hope it at least made you smile even if it's in a wtaf kind of way XD
Posted using Partiko Android
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Haha! It does resemble the play button! I actually changed the last word which gave away the event I witnessed. The fireworks display was actually for a fiesta :D And yes, mission accomplished, MATEcha green tea. It did put a smile in my face :D
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Nicely done my friend I hear your heart in your words. I have the same sentiment as you. Thanks for sharing
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Thank you, my friend! I always put my heart and soul in everything I do, so I'm happy that it translated well. Thank you for noticing! I appreciate it :D
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
This is a free verse that's clearly written without a rhyme but a simple theme which is pure tradition of either animal sacrifice or human sacrifice.
The poem speaks of the aftermath of this sacrifice which comes yearly, it's as if there's a kind of fireworks and celebration, then booze and wine and merriment as well.
The scenarios seems elation, but deep down I could feel the hysteria of this cultural practice, it's probably a native American setting or African.
It's a beautiful poem that centres on blood sacrifices.
Brilliantly written my friend wow and I love the theme, an inspiration to my new poem.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
It was actually a misdirect ;) What I was describing was actually a festival here, but I see how you arrived at that. Good try though, bud! I like where your mind went, and it's only a testament to how imaginative you are. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and for the lovely compliment!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Wow what a misdirect! I think I overestimated the verse a lot really, so I interpreted it to festival ritual really 😀😀😀
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
I'm glad I was able to conceal the truth! It was hard knowing I had very perceptive readers!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
i am not good at this :P some my guess or (if i use fancy words) my interpretation is that people are really stupid :P
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Hahaha! You're right about that!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
It sounds like Fourth of July mixed with St. Patty's day in the US :) Underlying that I would have to say overindulgence at the expense of mother nature and future generations
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
On paper, it should be, but I guess the attitude of the people plays a key factor. A lot of the people we came across were quite rude. More on that in a culmination post if I ever get around to writing it haha!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Well posted beautifully. Everyone will see that your post is very cool.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
I sure hope so! Thank you for the kind words!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
You neet it badly bro #jedau
As I stand beneath the star-filled sky at night.
My spirit is renewed with joy and awe.
I scarcely can contain my heart’s delight.
As I stand beneath the star-filled sky at night
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
I'm not quite sure what you meant. Do you mind elaborating?
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Great poetry
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Thank you for the compliment and for taking the time to read!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit